In my world, through my eyes

Ohaiyo!

2011-07-23T00:02:00.001+08:00

I haz officially moved to http://saraliews.wordpress.com/

See you later aligator!

2011-03-20T20:42:00.001+08:00

fucked up.

2011-02-27T22:29:00.002+08:00

Forever is merely a word uttered at a point of passion.

Certain is only as good as winning on a 21 table.

Yet again, I'm telling you, yes. In the mirror you- never put your heart at your sleeves.

The probability of hurt is way past its gains.

I'm not a princess, and this aint a fairytale

2011-01-09T23:07:00.004+08:00

Tonight a sudden feeling of remorse enveloped me. Both past and present.

Compared to most people, I tend to worry alot. Most times- unnecessary.

But can I say the same for tonight? The same for me? Can a goodnight sleep make things right? Can it shake the heavy load away from this heart that is threatening to weaken and completely shut off its surroundings?

An answer i desperately need, but will not necessarily get.

Goodnight world.

Happy Birthday to me

2010-12-26T21:34:00.002+08:00

I officially turned 25 today. Older, and much happier.

Since I just had my best birthday ever, I'll sealed it with highlights of the things I've did this year, & proud of it :

Survived through days of hospitalization during CNY (which happened to coincide with Valentine's this year). I cant deny that I did not cried buckets, but I managed. :)
Bold enough to pursue Master while clocking more than 10 hours of work (sometimes more), and is currently maintaining a CGPA of 4.0
Took destiny into my own hands & made a move that could make or break me by quitting my old job i.e my comfort zone, leaving individuals who are not just mere colleagues but close friends and forgoing my potential bonuses to a new, unfamiliar environment which i believe promises me hope, a better future and the capability to feed my continuous hunger for progression
Started dating my best friend of 4 years
Had countless road trips all around Malaysia and splurged on various overseas trip for next year! woots* wallet, did I hear you cried?
Remained loved by friends and family (aah.. how self satisfying this can be )
Bought a really nice, studious looking study table made of special wood that cost me about 800++ bucks. Used it for less than 5 times. *before you judge, the purchase was totally worth it!* :)
Had the best birthday celebration. ever.

the week that was..

2010-10-10T20:30:00.006+08:00

Hello GuangZhou :) Managed to get some reallllllyyy good deals, air tics & accomodation at insanely great price! I can has chinese. lol.

Almost end up with this hair cut lookalike!! The back looks good. But I'm damn proud cuz i managed to resist the hairstylist's persistence to chop of my fringe and make it resemble like a coconut! HAH! *The Power Of Resistance* LoL

3. Completed my first week at work. Office looks new. Workstation is almost the same as previous, but its in white this time. *my fav* building is super new, but the security checking is a pain. din have ID for the first few days, i had to register every.single.time i go out for lunch. work is fine, went back close to 8pm on the 2nd day, already?? Colleagues been great, 90% female, never shortage for fun cuz boss is a junkfood addict like me! *yay* So people, yes, i'm doing okay here dont worry ya? :) everything looks good now, all except my IDs, internet access and email setup. sigh. Pls be ready soon..... *fingers crossed*

I has sad

2010-09-26T20:04:00.002+08:00

I wish that if you could just look past everything that i'm not, then you'll start to appreciate everything that i am.

Simple Guide to Life

2010-09-16T15:06:00.002+08:00

A compilation of tested & proven guides to life that works for me, but might not on you. Read with caution, like seriously. :D

1. If you have sensitive skin, stay away from body piercing. Your body has the correct number of holes in it. Do not feel the need to make any necessary addition.

2. When you're planning to bitch about someone, better not think about it & text at the same time. Chances are you'll mistakenly forward the message to the unintended recipient. (:

3. Contrary to what many believes, it pays to be bitchy at times. So choose your friends carefully. See with your heart, not with your eyes for it can only look so far.

4. Never trample on others on your way up, for these are the people you'll see on your way down.

5. You might be all ready and driven to chase your dreams while you're still young, but dont forget to slow down and enjoy life. You can only cope so much. You're not expected to be perfect. But you're expected to live up to your fullest potential.

6. The best survival tools you'll ever need in life is a few strong instincts, some good networking , a cockroach-like nature ( heck, have you heard they're the longest surviving creature on earth?), a few close-knitted friends who'll tell you straight to the face when you're fat (yes, the truth hurts, but only real friends will care enough to say it out) & a good pairs of shoes. : )

7. Buy on impulse. seriously. Because it never matters. I bought my 2nd laptop on impulse and sold it off in a week. I though long and hard on my very costly ikea table which looks ooh so deliciously classy, and i've used it less than 10 times. So go on, buy that 1 thing you really want, because its never much on the practicality, its the enjoyment you get from the buying process! lol.

8. Never try to understand women. You're completely wasting your time.

9. When a women is pissy, get your ass off the room. Give her some time to cool down, she'll probably realize how wrong she was. haha.

10. Admit it, men loves women who can cook. So if you suck at it, get some lessons - like now!

11. If your other half is angry at you, try sending mms of your cute nephew/niece.. bribe her with cute looking babies. Works every time.

12.Its so easy to be depressed. But it takes alot of effort to stay happy. So challenge yourself.

13. Nothing beats the monday blues than quirky dirty jokes in your mailbox, first thing in the morning from a cool colleague.

14. Never overdo your makeup. The basic powder, some eye liner , a good stroke of mascara and a bit blusher is all it takes to look au naturele. :)

15. Women likes guys with some sense of humour & who looks confident about himself. Even if you dont have it, fake it. Sooner or later, it'll feel natural, like second to nature.

to be continued...

Not your ordinary foodcourt

2010-08-01T16:23:00.005+08:00

So sometime last week, Kent picked me up from work at 8-ish for our usual dinner. We were both dead hungry, we could have eaten each other's limb (i kid you not) , but luckily there's this foodcourt just a drive away- phew! save us the trouble.and mess. hehe*

Once we pulled over, a sudden sense of tingling bells tells us that something is not right. Where in the world would a foodcourt throw in free entertainment while you eat? And this is not the kind of entertainment sane ppl our age would enjoy, for they are singing chinese oldies in a rather high pitch, off note and suspiciously seducing voice. Hmm..

But i was already dead hungry (rmb the limb?) .. so i dragged Kent in, disregarding his protests. hehe*

Once in... CONFIRMED.

Picture speaks a thousand words.

The entire foodcourt was filled with uncles- of all size and ages - mostly bald, hairy and perv looking. And you know the best thing? They were all sitting facing the stage. Each time a lady finished singing her song, another come up. There were a good 7-8 different ladies that night! (Notice my choice of word? Ladies instead of girls? or chicks? You know what i mean..)

Each table of uncles had 1 or at most 2 ladies accompanying them. Hmm.. talk about being dodgy!

There's also these 2 matured looking ladies selling flowers to the 'fans' for them to give it to the singer of their choice.. and they re-use them! wtf!! talk about being entrepreneurial! You buy 1 flower and you re-sell it for god knows how many times!

Tsk tsk tsk.. felt like being in a low cost, cheapo night club. Didn't get to see any 'actions' that night tho . Just some ladies shaking the hands of the uncles, introducing themselves each time they join a new table. sigh. Boring!

So half way eating, while surrounded by hum sup looking uncles, i stopped and ask Kent,

"They better not think i am 'accompanying' you huh?"

The smirk on his face was enough to make me want to knock the lights out of him. Then he replied, "Still wanna come here next time?"

WTF.

Damn, i hate it when i'm wrong. :/

U-turn

2010-07-24T22:49:00.002+08:00

Forget about knifes. Some things hurts even more .

It's back to square one, once more.

The what, when and how doesn't matter anymore.

I just need to make it right, once more.

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. To love is to never be vulnerable.

I is healthy (:

2010-07-19T21:29:00.005+08:00

Woody Allen said and I'll just quote- 80% of success is showing up.

I think I'm getting there for 1) I showed up for work today. 2) I went to the gym, as planned.

I do not understand why would people succumb themselves to pain. Do they feel better about themselves after torturing their body? Oh well, most probably not. Just dont mind me. This is my way of coping with the after-gym effects. My body is literally crying right now. But it doesnt matter for i feel good.

Full cardio. A full 30 minutes. *Pats self. Pictures to prove a point. (:

Before- filled with energy, ready to go.

After- shaky legs. enough said.

New addiction

2010-07-18T12:05:00.002+08:00

First it was to get a red smoking netbook that i dont need because i already have a redilicioud laptop that still serves me well. But the urge was so great that i bought it almost instantenously.

Sold it online 1 week later at a much lower price. That is what happened when you don't think.

Then, comes the influence from my close friend that as ladies, we should really start 'taking care' of ourselves. So, there comes a whole loads of stuffs from BodyShop (mind you these things dont come cheap) and various which covers the whole range of bodycare products that i am dead sure i wont use, but still buy anyway. 3 months later ,the items are all still very much lonely lying on my drawer.

After which, came one of my most complex, heavy, long term, addiction ever. Something that will keep me committed, ground to the floor for many years to come. Enrolling on my MBA.

I wanted to do it so badly that i pushed my application through despite the application date being closed. Life has changed since. Going for classes after a long, tiring, challenging and mind exhausting day at work really takes a whole lot of discipline and perseverance from my end. I wont lie, i admit the thought of just quitting crossed my mind more than once. But i know i'll make it. How i know? I just do. Thats what you do when you take that leap of faith. You persevere.

Now, the reason of this post in the first place.. Introducing my latest addiction- hitting the gym.

I was already thinking about enrolling in Celebrity Fitness but now, now now, we shouldn;t get over excited rite? We've learned our lessons rite? So this time I'll take it easy. Start from the office gym first. But before that, i'll need to get my gears ready. *GRINS* Keep you guys posted of the 'damage' later. Going out now!

The Anyway Friend

2010-07-05T23:01:00.005+08:00

WARNING: MASSIVE AMOUNT OF WORDINGS AHEAD.

So i am back to PJ after 5 days and 4 nights in Malacca. What can i say? It was nice to get out of town sometimes, but being home feels great too.

One of the days when i was there, i happen to watch an episode of Private Practice. One of my favorite out of my strings of favorites night TV with the likes of Grey's Anatomy, The Fringe, Gossip Girls and the latest addition- Life Unexpected. So back to the topic, there's this episode in Private Practice whereby Sam made this incredibly emotional wedding toast on the night of his teenage's daughter's wedding. (Well, she got preggers and the logical and right thing to do is to get married, no?) In his toast, Sam speech touches on him being an Anyway Friend to Maya (his teenage daughter).

So what exactly is an anyway friend? An anyway friend is someone who, no matter what is going on, no matter what you do, say or look like, they still love you anyway, they will still be your friend anyway.

I think I am lucky in a sense, for i have met a few anyway friend, who are capable of looking beyond the here and now, and still be my anyway friend. For an instance, if you are following my blog, you will know that I blog about myself and what happens to my life almost 90% of the time. I rarely blog about topics that are controversial or the ones i know could get me more hits. And if you're reading this, you're probably one of the few whom i revealed this personal blog of mine for you to read. You see, i do not really get why certain bloggers in the industry will wear revealing clothes, even to the extend of displaying photos of themselves in their inner wear. But in the end, they get hits. Wonderful hits. They get accepted into NuffNang, and they ended up getting paid a good sum of moolah for blogging. Sigh. How much has the world changed. So back to my point, (you see its very easy to get distracted when I get into discussion topics like this) i maintain this blog, or should i say i try to update every chance i get or when time allows, but the truth is, there was a point in my life that i stopped blogging completely! Nada, zero, elek, kosong entries! But, years / months later, when i started blogging back.. i have my anyway friends who commented on my posts!. This could only mean one thing, they were following it all along. I'm guessing they were dropping by my blog every now and then to check out if i have posted any new entries, and that my friend, its like a huge stroke to my ego self. Man, it felt good. To feel wanted. That i have anyway friends who despite my blog being completely comatose, still bears a hope that it will wake up one day.

And then, there is the workplace. Where we spend more than 11 hours everyday- for the rest of our lives, unless you happen to strike a lottery and retire by the age of 30 or you can always consider conning a guy and get married and enjoy the ala desperate housewives lifestyle (why.. my choice or my lack of choice of word- conning..?) perhaps, an early retirement might be the option. But for 80% of us normal human beings, the workplace will be our so called 'main' home. Where we'll shed many tears of joy, pain, hard work, disappointment and what not. Office politics can be so tiring at times. I am still struggling to accept the fact that being hardworking alone is not sufficient to bring you up the ladder. It takes more than that. It takes you being good at networking, choosing the right words, being at the right place at the right time, knowing the right people, ensuring you get your ass covered at all times and the credit of your work doesn't go to waiting prey who is always on the go to pounce on you the second you let your guard down (how skeptic, but its true) and also working for the right superior who will recognize you for a job well done and also sees you for the person you are and mold you to the person you are capable to be in future. I am still on this steep learning curve everyday. People say never to underestimate the power of visualization. Everyday before i go to work, i visualize that today will be a good day, a day that will be productive , smooth and i will be happy at work. I've only started visualizing so its too early to comment on how true the statement goes, but things seems to be looking good, perhaps you can give it a try too. But things have not always been looking this good. There was this period of time when just by looking at me you will realized that i have given up. Given up on climbing this corporate ladder which seems so difficult, perhaps it is because i haven't found the way yet. Or perhaps i had so much emotional baggage with me that clouded my ability to make a sound judgement. But at that time, i am fortunate to have my anyway friends who were there for me, to ensure i get out of the depression mood and start coming back on track. For that, i thank you my anyway friend , you will know who you are.

Then, i have to count my blessing for my childhood / schooling days friends whom i rarely meet,but whenever we do it still feels like old times. Friends whom i did not really keep in touch but will still meet up every now and then. Friends who i can count on, whom i know will definitely be there one day if i should ever need them to be. Friends who are your friends irregardless of how much salary you are earning now, friend who do not give a crap about your job position or try to take advantage of you due to your job nature, or friends who will be your friends anyway or anyhow.

As i go on writing this post, things are starting to get really emotional. I am quite a reserve person by nature. By saying that i mean i do not usually share my personal stuffs. And that is not always a good trait to have for by that, it only mean one thing - you are keeping it all bottled up inside. So i'm learning something new here.. i'm trying to embrace the power of sharing. So here goes, and i think this is the furthest i can ever go for sharing. I screw up big time in the beginning of this year or should i say 2 years ago (but i did not realized it then). I trusted the wrong person. You know whats even worst than finding out you have been cheated? Knowing you have been cheated but there's nothing you can do about it. You accepted it. I could not look myself in the mirror for a while because i was ashamed. Ashamed at the coward i grew up to be. Delaying and pretending the problem is not there so i would not have to confront it. I knew about doing the right thing like the back of my palm, but the question is do you have enough courage to actually do it? Ever felt you have sacrificed so much but in the end, you realized that it was all but a lie? Ever felt like you're the mayonnaise served alongside the main dish? You are not the main entrée. There's always another dish that seems to be more tongue watering than you. Yes, that was me. But not anymore. I would like to thank my parents for being my anyway friend at that time. They'll probably never read this, but i have to thank them. They were there for me like this really strong and solid pillar of strength who pulled me out of the denial state that i was i was so very much in. Despite my wrong judgement, they were still there for me anyway. Regardless of how stupid i have become. But, with this experience, i takeaway with me a good learned lesson. A lesson learned the hard way, but worth more than any money in the world can buy. I am a much happier person now. I have to admit i am still quite bitter about the past, but i am sure i can look somewhere within this body of mine for a forgiving bone so that i can completely forgive you, the person whom i once trusted but almost break me to a point that is beyond repair. If you are ever reading this, no i have not forgiven you, but i will try to- someday.

Now on a lighter note, while reading this, if anyone appears in your mind, congratulations for you have found your anyway friend. I wish that everyone of us will have an anyway friend by their side. The world has enough of hate going on , it needs more love! Wont you feel safer knowing that no matter what happens, someone will be there, to be your shoulder to cry on, for you to lean on? Our lives would be so much happier! I am thankful for i think i have found another anyway friend but this time, it will be for life. And i hope you will know that i can be your lifetime anyway friend too. All you have to do is open up your heart and i'll be there. :D

Now and forever

2010-06-30T00:29:00.003+08:00

I always wanted to write a post about us, but never really gotten to it because i was always looking for the right words, the right feeling or the right moment. But then i realized that there will never be a right moment. It will be right, when i feel it is. And tonight, as i am listening to you broadcasting on air, playing all my favourite songs, my heart almost melted- faster than an ice cream cone.

There's this old photo of us posted on facebook a couple of days back. How different we were back then. Our days usually involved you teasing me or us quarelling. Our typical conversation of us :

Example 1:

Kent: Wow, i had this really good food the other day...

Me: Half expecting him to offer to bring me there...

Kent: You know what? *i'm half expecting at the other end*.. I should probably blog about this! :D

Example 2:

While in the car, on the way to UTAR PJ..

Me: Ooh!! My favourite song is on air! Pls dont change the station now..

Kent: Really? You really like it?

Me: (Oblivious to what is about to happen) Yes... I love it!

Kent: Okay, we're changing it then! :D

Thats how it used to be..

But looking at us now. 4 years later, we're the same person as we were 4 years back. You were my best friend now as much as you were back then. I love you so much that it spills over. I think i can love you so much that in many years to come, i would still have so much leftover. When i needed to tell someone the good and bad things that happened to me in a given day, you're the first person i think about. I draw strength from you as you are as solid as a rock, your calm judgements and your ability to peel every situation layer by layer and analyse it thoroughly. I admire your quick thinking and your ability to click with almost every new people you meet. When we are together, everything feels right in place and i feel safe- almost to a point that i feel i have no worries or burden. The peaceful feeling that i was so hungry for all the while is finally here for my taking. You inspire me daily and you push me forward. You keep telling me i can achieve more than what i have today, and i believe you. You always put my happiness in front of your own. Sometimes i quietly wonder what have i done right to deserve you? I am alot of things. But i am not alot of things either. I am not as patience, sensitive or caring as i think i should be. Most times, you are much more sensitive towards things and caring than i could ever be. But with you by my side, i know things will only get better. I love you dear, and i look forward to more days spend together with you.

I'm yours

2010-06-29T23:35:00.002+08:00

You touch these tired eyes of mine
And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine
I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap you thoughts in works of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

You heeled these scars over time
Embraced my soul
You loved my mind
You're the only angel in my life
The day news came my best friend died
My knees went week and you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
I know I don't fit in that much
But I'm yours

Picture Perfect

2010-06-27T21:45:00.002+08:00

I can get used to days like these.

Quiet weekends watching dvds, movie night-outs, dinner with the family, work talks, night classes- everything i need is right here now.

Furry Creatures

2010-06-24T23:17:00.007+08:00

Hello . I'm a freakin Alpaca, just in case you're wondering.

I'm a smaller version of my brother, the Ilamas. Unlike my brothers who are breed to carry heavy stuffs.. i'm well basically bred for my bulu-bulu or some High quality english wool. Ooooohhh sounds expensive. lol.

Dont ask me, i have no idea what i am either! *Go figure yourself*

Gone were the days where being cute alone is more than enough!!! pfft!

Some manipulative kangaroo.

Like this? Me tooooooooo!! *wet dreamy eyes*

Now where do this cute fellas live?

Nestled in the foothills of Tamar Hills, Australia, lies Tasmania Zoo, the largest wildlife zoo in Tasmania!! Did i just hear you scream??? No?? Okay that was me!!

Sigh. I want to go. T.T

Hello vain :)

2010-06-05T18:35:00.003+08:00

I'm over at JB this weekend! :D I heart this place, it feels right.

But if there's only 1 bit that i'm finding it hard to adjust to is.... everybody here freaking speaks chinese!! sigh... well, its the 2nd day, and i still thought that i am managing it just fine with my broken mandarin until this afternoon.

warning---> vain pictures ahead.

All i intended to was to get a trim. But with my broken mandarin, i accidentally, unconsciously, unwillingly somehow agreed to cut my hair this short instead. oh well, at least Mr.Chan likes it, and he better not be layan-ing me only! =.="

The hairstylist was a sweet heart, but me and him? can really not communicate. The whole conversation that took place was him speaking really fast in chinese and with me nodding my head, with the few occasional uh huhs & okays. shy* no wonder before he start to cut he asked me, "are you sure you wanna do this? how long it took you to keep until this length?" fml- i should have seen all the signs... T.T kns.

So there you go, new look for the year. gotta run now, its about time to drive down to Sutera Mall to pick him up! :D

Back!

2010-05-29T22:46:00.001+08:00

I iz happih eu iz back. :)

2010-05-23T23:35:00.001+08:00

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

2010-05-22T23:27:00.004+08:00

Days like this..

I hope it never ends.

R.I.P

2010-05-21T23:33:00.004+08:00

I bought you both at a pet shop along the streets of Petaling. White Pearl was your breed. Its better to buy in pair, the pet shop guy said. That way, they will not get bored. You kept me company when i was alone. You entertained me during the times when i was down. You filled up the gaps when i was lonely and needed a channel to distract myself and to keep me occupy. You were the last piece of my past and somehow that makes it hard to say goodbye. I remembered why i never named any of you. I didn't want to grow attached. But somehow along the way i did. I was always on the verge of giving you away but i never did actually meant it. And now, you both are gone. Rest in peace my little guys. I will miss you.

"Sometimes its better to loved and lost, than to never love at all."

2010-05-21T00:57:00.003+08:00

i iz in trouble.

Note to self

2010-05-21T00:13:00.007+08:00

I believe that the harder you push your limits, the further you'll get to where you want to be.

Spread them wings, for your time has come to fly.

It's not how good you are, its how good you want to be. And while you're working towards that goal, stay happy.

We need more of this.

Not a happy chick.

2010-05-16T03:18:00.001+08:00

One half me, the other half you.

2010-05-15T23:48:00.006+08:00

See this guy above? He iz Shakespeare. And he iz a hopeless romantic. Some of his femes quotes are.. "I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest". Beautifool aint it?

Alright, imma gonna try my hands on it too.. so here goes:

I love you even when you're with your checked shirt & crocs. 2 of the things i dislike the most. Heck, i'll even shop around to get you one. (:

I love you even when you tell me you love me not cuz i'm beautiful. (seriously, kent chan.. what were you thinking? )

I love you so much it made cupid cried.

Now to seal the deal..... i made you this collage when i'm having fever while you're vacationing away at Penang.

See that Shakespeare? Beat that.

2010-05-15T16:59:00.003+08:00

The week that was.. in pictures

2010-05-10T22:11:00.004+08:00

Thoughts

2010-05-10T20:18:00.006+08:00

I believe that if I am totally comfortable with where i am and what i am doing now, i am not pushing myself hard enough, and thus limiting my potentials and how far i could actually go. But I also believe that if i am comfortable with my current life, wtf make it harder?

I used to believe that if I am perfectly happy and when things are going well with my life, i must have overlook something. But now i realized that it is not something that is impossible and that i too, deserve to have it.

When i was a very young person, i used to dream of fairy tale endings, perfect weddings with churches, beautiful white gowns & bull dogs in tuxedos, used to believe that everyone is a good person with good intentions, that love should be unconditional and you must put yourself out there. But then, the world i though i knew did not turn out exactly how i imagined it to be.. and then i stopped dreaming. But now, my long held thought and decision seemed to be challenged day by day and i am beginning to allow myself to dream a little bit more each time.

I sometimes lay awake at night and wonder how ironic life is. How we are always looking for something out there which we conveniently thinks must be better than whatever is within our reach now. And then we make ourselves travel and circle one big round to seek for it only to find that the best of things were all along just right next to us.

August 2008 had been the most difficult time in my life. Although it took me quite a while to gather all my courage, i am finally someone i can be proud of in February 2010. I can finally let go of all the emotional baggage and start life, the right way. Have not looked back ever since.

I feel that i am not where i am supposed to be now. I can take in more. I do however still believe that this will change as it is just a matter of time and opportunity. I however will stick by my belief that i will only succeed by having my conscience clear, no matter how tempting things can be at times to just take the easy way out.

I acknowledge that i am not always an easy person to be with and i can be difficult at times. It must have been difficult for you.

I believe that one could not go wrong if their actions/ thinkings are always based on good intentions. And this belief, has never changed.

I iz a chef today!

2010-05-04T17:43:00.004+08:00

Clockwise from top left:

(Stir fried organic cabbage with garlic and dried praws, grilled salmon marinated with italian herb and salt, herbal eggs & the final piece + chicken sausages)

This is me today --->

Gave my culinary skills a test today and got myself to cook a simple lunch for two.

Outcome? Hmm.. i think its alright for someone who has not cooked for the past 2 years.

7 findings after the lunch cook-out today:

1. Salmon is a very difficult fish to cook. Its skin kept sticking on the pan and its meat was on edge of breaking apart! Bought 2 slices of salmon, but end up with 1 and a few bits and pieces. Salmon, whyyyy?

2. It takes a lot of effort to cook just a simple lunch. From the ingredient shopping to washing and slicing and marinating and stir frying right up to cooking the rice! phew* its even harder than work!

3. Always buy extra ingredients when you are a first timer. For my case, portions for 2 became 1. Dont ask why, you know.

4. Frozen food is very handy. If you feel you dont have enough dishes, just throw in some sausages , better still some scramble eggs!

5. It is a tiring process. Cant imagine doing this everyday. Salute to housewives around the world.

6. Your partner will usually say it taste good and gives you words of encouragement. Despite the vegetable is too salty or the salmon taste a tad bit weird. :D common, they had to right? teehehe..

7. Kitchen is really not a place I can shine. T.T To my future kids, I'm so sorry.. but McD taste good, no?

Cheers to a good lunch, probably more because of the company than the food.. hehe

Crossed

2010-05-02T16:22:00.002+08:00

Me to You

You

Its times like this that i want to avoid..

Note to self: The year of 2010

2010-03-19T20:47:00.018+08:00

With a couple of my old buddies, on the third day of Chinese New Year, I found myself loittering the streets of Klang and landed myself unexpectedly at the oldest temple in Selangor for a prayer or two.I did the same thing that many people would do when they are in a temple of course.. i asked for my future in the year 2010.Apparently, the month of Feb-April i will experience good fortune and will not have problems financially. Then comes month Aug-Oct, when the gold meets the wood (hmm..) is the period of time where i can basically get every single thing that i ever wished for. So these are practically the best months of my life this year. But then again, i was also once told that you shouldn't disclose such things out, it should be kept to yourself, similar to birthday wishes, it will not come true if you say it out. So in this case, tak jadilah i punye.. is it? *cue to curse*

2010 started off rather shaky for this already shaken soul. I guessed the balance of pain and agony of 2009 was carried forward to 2010 in spite of many attempts to zerorised this inventory. If you think the saying "Time will heal anything" is cliche, dont. Because it does carry some sliver of truth in it. With the first quarter of the year almost coming to an end, yours truly is proud to say that she has been coping pretty well and with time, the wound shall heal with minimal scars. If you had watched Alice in the Wonderland, i feel like the blue caterpillar now. Ready to transform. I feel better nowadays then i have been for a long while. I thank God for the past years memories and experience that he had arranged for me, but i believe the future holds a more promising hope for me.

Having said that, i shall now break my chain of not making any resolutions for the new year as i intend to keep it this time.

This year I shall...

1. Start taking care of my health and my overall well-being. Try to not over utilize my tickets to hospital visits and basically just try to stay healthy & rmb to take and continue taking the daily supplements..Shouldnt be too difficult to fulfill this, no?

2. Make sure to finish reading every book before purchasing a new one..

3. To dedicate myself to work , also my main source of income *ehem*

4. Must start saving for rainy, wet, thunderous days.. actually just saving because i have a very cute looking thing to keep my coins in! *blush*

5. To purchase more beauty products, hey girl, you just cannot continue using 1 (one) type of lotion for the whole body! Plus, 1 eyeshadow color, 1 eye liner, 1 blusher, 1 powder, 1 mascara and 1 lip balm will not be enough to make you look fabs! :) Good excuse to start shopping for more!

6. Drink sensibly. Get wasted less. Tipsy is the way to go.

7. More family time, ladies night out and friends outing. * I know i have not been around much, but it will change now on.

8. To thread the roads ahead with caution .

I think my chances of succeeding are better this year. Have a good feeling that I will make it. So will you, if you have made a resolution this year. My sincere best wishes to everyone. Goodnight and cheers to a good year! :)

I pray for the strength to accept things i cannot change, the courage to make the changes when need be, and the wisdom to tell the difference.

Looking back at time

2009-12-20T21:32:00.003+08:00

In this fast paced society where you either catch up or risk being left behind, i forgot what it feels like to be young, ever hopeful and care-free.

I miss the person I was when I was just 12 or 13, just stepping into high school.

Life was simple back then. Or had I been more easily content during those early years of my life?

I remember not having to worry about anything other than if i could finish copying my add maths homework on time, or wishing it would rain so we could skip PJ- pendidikan jasmani (i hate the fact that we have to change to our white shirts and track bottom, get all sweaty and then change back to our school uniform without bathing! no offense to those who enjoyed it) or wishing and crossing my fingers that Mr.Long- my psyhics teacher wont call me up to answer any questions today or hoping that the guy whom i have crushes on will notice me. you get the drill.

But then again, I am only saying this because this is me, now. I'm sure that at that time, all these issues seems so huge and of high weightage. And this, is exactly what I am hoping for myself in the future.

I wish that a few years down the road, i will look back at myself and say-hey girl, chill.. no big deal what you're dealing with back then. But then another whole set of different issues will surface and we would have to re-invent the wheel. But if it gives your heart a certain level of comfort, why not?

I guess this is how we mature. How we grow up physically and mentally.

People used to say this every single time that its beginning to sound cliche- that time heals everything. I'm beginning to think there's some amount of truth in it.

For that, cheers everyone. Leave your troubles behind this Christmas and have a happy holiday. :)

Beaten like a defeated wrestler

2009-12-01T21:04:00.003+08:00

I keep going back these paths.

I keep telling myself that I wont let me feel this way again, but again and again I allow myself to sink deeper in this black hole.

You tell me things will get better. You lied.

Rats!

2009-11-27T20:28:00.002+08:00

Its been a while since I last wrote anything. I know, I've said it countless times. But, I was hoping that my comeback will not be like this.

Today my car park got stolen right in front of my nose by a black saga- with a family of 5-6,7? i dont know- anyways, there were the man, the woman, the grandpa grandma and small kids. I cant remember. The man outright stole my car park while i was reversing just so I can park my car in.

He on the other hand, conveniently ease himself to that parking space. Hows that for Malaysian Hospitality? I honk once- (there's no reason to scare the small kids you see.. ) but when he did not reverse out, i knew this is one selfish man who did this low life act intentionally.

Iwaited because i wanted to see the rat who stole my parking space face to face. They did not come down immediately. Reason? I had no idea- I am only a young lady in the car by herself. Was it guilt? I had no idea. But after a while I guess his pea brain realized that he cant wait in there forever. They came down. The whole battalion of them. That man - that very man had the cheek to stare at me. With a look that is so ignorant, so arrogant the compulsive side of me had the urge to come down and demand that he be a man and reverse his car out- to give back what is rightfully mine.

I did not. I drove off- feeling so helpless, upset and dissappointed all at the same time. If he would have just waive a hand to ask if he can park or I dont know, just anything to show that he had the courtesy- i would have given him anyway. Common- there were kids and elderly. What do you expect anyone would do? Definately give way. But i just cannot accept the fact that he thought he can take what is not his and walk away feeling like a champion.

In many ways, I am so affected by this I cant even see where is this coming from. Should i have better control of my temper? I dont think this is the problem. The problem is how come we as Malaysians can act this way? I know its unfair to generalize all just because of the action of one. To be fair, there are Malaysians who are courteous on the roads as well, so maybe there is still hope after all?

To you- the family of the black saga with an Ipoh car plate 4812- I look down on you. You as the driver for making that decision. And your family for not advising against it. I still wish you have a nice Raya tho.

You know that sometimes, You just dont know.

2009-07-20T21:52:00.003+08:00

Many things is goin through my mind, and I just cant wait to let it all out. But.. where so i start? Life has been a big gobbly blob of messy fun , and yet I'm living it just fine. How did i cope or how did i survive is a different question all together. Did I have fun? Yes. Do I have any regrets? Yes, some. Will I do it differently? Well, maybe. But did I live the moment? I guess I did. Ppl, great ppl even, makes some mistakes here and there- eventually, at some point of their lives, so i guess i'm no different. I guess its not the issue of did we or did we not make a mistake, nor is it the extend of our mistakes and all the collateral damages involved as a result, but i guess, in my most humble opinion, is if we realise and learn from the mistakes we've made, vowing that never, in our best effort, to repeat it again.

Life as a management associate is drawing to an end, closer as we speak. 31 July 2009. I anticipate your arrival as much as I wish you would not come so soon. Dear MAPs, if any of you ever happen to read this, I will miss you.

One year together I do believe has brought us closer. Regardless of how different an individual each and every one of us are, we manage to work it out and leverage on each other's strength and weaknesses - that we appreciate us for who we are and not who we are not, and in despite of these differences, we are a great team. And as 1 August comes, and we will all depart to our own respective postings, I wish you well. I am anticipating that we may not get to spend as much time as we used to, we will be occupied and busy trying to adjust to ur new roles and teams, we might not end up in the same dept, but let us not grow apart. Let us keep the good memories of meeting each other for the first time on 5th August 2008 fresh in mind, the many presentations we've gone through together, the Bangi Canteen food that well.. needs alot of improvement.., the many lunches we've ate , our Gopeng trip, Mr Tang's Law training and his jokes, takin our group pic with our MAP Tshirt, our farewell at Chillis, L.O.V.E course and those tennis balls, the grooming class we had, the many self motivation classes HR had arranged for us, CMC presentations, group projects ( altho we may not see eye to eye always, but its for the good of getting the project done) and countless of good , bad, ugly and sweet memories in our hearts. I know all of us will do well in future, some even better than the rest. Before the MAP 2008 program comes to an end, I want to thank you , for being not only good colleagues, but thank you for being a good friend. And I hope we all get our desired posting. I need to stop now before i cry. * damn! I'm weak*

I dont think I have been a good daughter . I should start spending more time at home.

Nor do I think I have been a good friend. But I try to do everything within my means.

I dont think Im saving enough.

I think I need to stop browsing AirAsia's website so often. The temptation of going somewhere far with just a click away is seriously hard to resist.

I need to lose weight. More sit ups. Sigh- I dont think this, i will manage. =(

And YOU. You drive me crazy. Your inconsistency and unpredictableness and your irregularity confuses me. I know I ve said i like surprises, but not too much. Playing the guessing game is well out of my league. I fear when I feel happy , even by feeling the smallest jolt of happiness in my vein would get me thinking, whats wrong? What is goin to happen next? I think I have serious complication disorder. Sometimes I feel like I dont have the means to rise above and change. I know if i continue to keep my distance, and not fully plunging into it, like ppl should, then I am just waiting and keep on waiting for the world to change. huh? Gibberish. ok, next.

I was having seafood at Kampung Melayu Subang tonight . As I was eating, a family came by and sat on this table directly opposite of me. The Mum, Dad, Sister and a younger sister who happens to be a special child. As I was eating, I glance occasionally (I know its not polite to stare) . But I just cant help it. My heart went out to them. The Dad was constantly peeling the crab's shell, and takin the meat out and put in on her plate. She can eat on her own and was okay using chopsticks, so its a good thing. The dad then peeled the prawn's shell. Then he took the vege and noodles for her. It just hit me at that point, for fortunate I am. Some people come into this world, being a special child. And they had absolutely no control over it. Its not their choice. But they had to come into this world , at such a young age, with such burden. And yet, most of them strive and lead life the best they can. So for this, I salute their courage and I admire their persistence. Tonight itself, I went to the nearest supermarket, got some necessities and donate them to this Disabled Home for Childrens near Taman Megah. Its a corner lot house, some of you might know. The moment the children said thank you, I felt somewhat relieved. I felt good that I helped someone today. Its not the amount we've donated, but its the thought that counts. In fact, I should say thank you back to them, because they make things even clearer for me. Putting my thoughts into perspectives. By pulling myself out and look at the situation properly , I really shouldnt worry or get myself work out on small matters. I should persevere and try to live my life the best I can. Regardless of what other people think, I should live the way I feel is the best for me, and just say what I need to say. For you guys, if your interested in making donations, I do suggest you make it in kinds, such as rice, milo, cereals, cooking oil, biscuits, and etc.. Do our part, the best within our means.

It doesnt matter if you think I am emo. I am.

I am easily hurt, but i bounce back twice faster. I am normally harmless unless provoke. So if you think you can take advantage of my "assumed emotional vulnerability", I suggest you think twice.

Even as your eyes are closing, your hands are shaking, or if you feel your faith is broken, but as long as you do it with your heart wide open, and keep going on , that my friend, is a true survivor.

2009-04-11T20:59:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna make it.. i just know i will..

Drink, dont drive.

2009-02-12T09:19:00.005+08:00

Lately i realised that people do not drive courteously on the roads anymore. Or has it been this way all the while? You get ppl tailgating you like nobody's business. Whenever this happens, I always have this sudden urge to hit the brakes. But then again.. that will cause too much of a hassle for that few minutes of glory. *you kiss, you pay!* So, i've come up with a list of drivers that i hate:

1. I hate drivers that tailgate my back - too close for comfort.

2. I hate drivers that drive faster than I do. (how can???)

3. I hate drivers that drive too slow- especially when i'm running late.

4. I hate drivers that cut into my line without signalling.

5. I especially hate male drivers that do not give way when they know the other female driver is in the wrong lane.

6. I hate drivers that purposely hit the accelarator when you already signalled that you are changing lane.

7. I hate drivers that dont put on any signals. (yea, i know i have alot of issues with signalling)

8. I hate drivers that brakes too often.. cuz ill brake too..

9. I hate female drivers that drives nice cars because it makes me freakin jealous.

10. I hate any vehicle that have people behind its wheel. nah, take that!

11. I hate female cars that have stickers that reads "Princess on board" or " VIP" on it..

12. I like those that reads "Honk if you're horny" hehe..

13. I hate nice sports cars that have those really fugly looking spoilers that looks like cheap macro trolley holder on it. Spoils everything!

14. I hate cars that are not in either black, white or silver in colour.

*sigh*

Everyone should just freaking walk and leave the driving to me!

Post written at 9.53am, RHB Tower 1, level 7- workstation.

Boss, I'm still working k!! Just take a few minutes off only! :D

Living a robotic life ..

2009-02-05T08:36:00.002+08:00

Ahh.. the perils of being a trainee..

You get transferred alot. To different business units. Meet different ppl. Plus points and what nots. You dont have a permanent working feel.

Reach office by 8am. Buy breakfast consist of nasi goreng kampung tambah telur, milo panas satu. (everyday)

Work, or at least pretend to be busy till 12. 30 and yay! its lunch time. Order the usual nasi putih basah kuah kari ayam and peria goreng (every single day-i kid you not)

Come back to work.. take a few toilet breaks and try to prolong it - wait till 5.15 and kudos- you've made it through another day!

sad huh. i know..

2009-01-27T19:06:00.002+08:00

This is the point of my life where everything that could possibly go wrong..... went wrong.

1. fell sick the week prior to chinese new year
2. did not have a single new clothes for chinese new year
3. got hospitalised the day before reunion dinner- discharged the day after chinese new year
4. missed reunion dinner- had hospital food instead.
5. countdown to chinese new year alone in my hospital room, with the tv, my iv drip, pain and
cold temperature.
6. realised something.

In 2008..

2008-12-27T18:16:00.003+08:00

1. Graduated from Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman with a Bachelor of Marketing (1st Class Honours), but was stupid enough to leave my card/chip (wutever) that contains my name, graduation picture everything on my chair. Ended up walking down to receive my scroll without having my name called out, picture was not shown on screen but loooking back now.. its funny. It wasn't at that time though..thank you coursemates+partners in crime for comforting me. teehehe.. almost broke into tears. 2 years of slaving through uni and i left that bloody card on that bloody chair. argh. still feeling a bit bitter now. Another thing... to the management if you ever read this.. it would be better if the interviews with press to be conducted maybe 15 minutes AFTER the graduation. Else, if you make it DIRECTLY after the convocation.. poor peanuts like me will miss taking a full graduation picture with all her coursemates. thank you very much. *its quite obvious that i was and still am upset over this* teehehe..

2. Got my first job as an auditor. Got another offer to work with IBM 2 months later. Stayed with IBM for about 6 months till i got myself another offer to work with RHB and 4 months later ..i still am with RHB (this have got nothing to do with the 2 year bond i got myself in.. teehehe) wink*
I know this dont look quite good cuz it appears as if I'm a job hopper (teehehe) but sometimes, we just gotta keep looking till we find a perfect fit, no?

3. Secured a job with RHB in which i am to undergo a 1 year intensive training under the Management Associate Program (MAP). Met 20 bright, crazy, fun-loving individuals, outstanding in their own ways, which helps spice up our classroom training at Bangi every now and then. I am totally in love with the Nasi Kandar at Nilai and my fingers will remain crossed that our canteen food gets better next year. Underwent and successfully completed the first Retail Banking module. Attached to a branch in Pj New Town, worked with amazing colleagues and saw many different facets of life and interacted with people of all walks of life. Truly an eye opening experience that money cant buy. Sold credit cards, personal financing loans, insurance and every other damn thing for the first time in my life. Was a challenging experience and im glad its over and i wont have to do it again. phew* things you do in training..

4. Bought myself a black Myvi. And i know now how pricey it is to maintain a car. le sigh.. insurance, services, unexpected scratches, you name it..

5. Still did not manage to board a plane and travel overseas.. sigh sigh sigh howcome??

6. Introduced to a friend online and established an unexpectedly strong and lasting friendship.

7. Curled my hair for the first time in my life. (Didnt quite like it tho) So i got it straighten again in June. : )

8. Did a few road trips which i heart so much. Dont get to do it as often as it used to be.. but it was a great time well spent with great company.

9. Found a new-found love + addiction with drinks. *winks*

10. Lose some, gain some. Got my heart broken and still am in the process of mending it. Though it might take longer this time, due to unforeseen circumstances.. but it will happen.

11. Gain alot of new friendship with my days in IBM, some of which became my sisters, brothers, confidant and shoulders to lean on. Never had i expected to find such unconditional and strong lasting relationship in a workplace. For that, i'm truly blessed.

12. Attended my first friend's wedding. Denise if you're reading this.. "My first time give to you liao!!!" and i wish that happiness always find its way to your doorstep.

13. Turned 23 on december 26. Thank you for all the warm wishes be it text, emails, testi, msgs, cards, letters and presents. I love each and every one of it. thank you.

14. Had the toughest time of my life throughout August 2008 till November 2008. Shed the most tears and heart breakingly painful nights imaginable. Not something i would like to highlight in my year 2008 recap, but the fact that i managed to pull myself through , making sure i did not sink in deep self pity or depression- i feel this warrants at least an acknowledgement.

15. Started including dresses in my wardrobe. hehehe.. dresses- why dint i find you earlier??

16. Bought myself a red handphone and a red laptop.

17. Did many spontaneous trips with no prior plannings whatsoever!

Thats it for 2008.

Now bring me 2009!

One of those days..

2008-11-22T15:54:00.003+08:00

There were nights when the wind blowing from my ceiling fan felt so cold. And my blue cotton blanket just did not manage to warm me up as it should. With my eyes closed, my body curled up in my blanket side ways struggling to keep me warm, hundreds of random thoughts keep going through my mind and I cant sleep. Yet again those cold lonely nights that i wished was just a phase but it seemed to last longer than i have expected.

Empthy threads of hope , thoughts of chances i've missed , people that i have neglected , feelings i have unintentionally hurt, the confusion and frustration hidden inside a fragile build, feeling so helpless makes me wonder what am I doing or am i heading towards the right direction......

all of a sudden i felt so weaken -emotionally and physically. I felt defeated.

I felt myself drunken by my emotional burden that I failed to cry out for help when I need it the most.

I keep telling myself over and over again that i am better than this.

But life has a mind of its own and most times it will not go our way. No matter how hard we try to mould and craft life, as it is will always take a twisted turn. Whatever you think will happen next, wont. If you think you can predict the future, you're wrong. If you think you've got it bad, be prepared for the worst. And that misunderstandings and feelings of betrayal do crawl into our life at one point of time and the critical moment of it all is how we handle ourselves in those circumstances given the choices we have and the constraints to consider.

But of all these choices I have to make, dilemmas and judgements I have to face , sometimes it makes me feel older than my age. I felt matured in a sense that I have seen the true facts of life that not many 23 year olds have the privilege to see. And in exchange of these privileges were many lonely, confused, troubled and painful hours. I'd wished I never have to experienced it, but if its no longer evitable, I hope to make the most out of it and learn never to make the same mistake again.

I wish to embrace happiness once again and the wisdom to look for it.

Of Hellboy and Jco Donuts

2008-07-21T20:42:00.013+08:00

Its always good to hang out with close friends over the weekend , and just chill and have some relaxing fun time. Last Saturday was one of those days that makes me miss uni life even more than I already do. An early sms from Max was just a great way to start my morning.. tsk tsk.. when I did not replied his msg.. he was indeed quick enough to tell Kent that "hey.. this blardy girl might ffk us leh.. " Eh ppl.. common la.. would i do that? *innocent wide eye look*

Anyways, I had a great Saturday, and I wouldnt want to spend it any other way. : ) Kent , Max, Joo and I had well... a very nice lunch over at Manhattan Fish Market, the food was alright.. nothing much to shout about. except for the price.. but our chit chats on how each other's work is getting on, sharig some gossips here and there (yes, guys do gossip!) and practically catching up with each other's life that we have missed so far. Ahh.. bliss.

Next stop, we went and pick up Brian to join us for movie -Hellboy (which btw was goooood) over at Pavillion. Tried to call Hazel darling.. but she was occupied that day. : ( (when am i gonna see you girl?? )

Anyways, I had a really good weekend (yes, i do realise i mentioned it 3 times now, and im gonna mention it again. hehe ) . Im happy that we are all doing very well in our own respoective ways and .. its good to know that we are still the very crazy sarcastic bunch of ppl we were before. I do realise that we dont get to see each other often, but I am deeply touched by the fact that even after few months not meeting, we still feel that we've known each other for ages. : )

Heres some pics.. that i managed to sneakily take. well.. not the 1st of course..

While waiting for the driver and his konco-konco~

The Gardens. somebody has lost ALOT of weight....

But eh.. is that boobies I see there?? >.<"

Me likey this... I can stay in this shop 4eva.. Had they not drag me out.. ish.

Taken infront of Garden Signature. No.. we did not watch our movie there . Blardy RM20 just for a movie?? nah....... Altho a certain some1 was very inclined to.. teehehe..

After the movie at Pavilion, Joo thought of buying some donuts.. buT hell, not only him have that "thought".. so did many others... it was chaotic man.. hungry donut buyers are not to be messed with..hehe..

Future Jco Ambassador. No need pay. Donuts will do. : )

Ahh,.. dont it just makes you happy just by watching this? The funny thing is Joo initially intented to buy 6. But he ended up buying 12! What the We-line-up-so-long-buy-6-only-meh ?? -theory.>.<" Another funny thing is how the guys initially planned to eat those yummy donuts during their yumcha session after fetchin me home.. buthen.. we end up finishing most on our way back home and left only 2 donut survivors!! ehehe..

This is towards the end of the day. on our way to carpark. Due to a personal request by some tai ko who wants to have his picture taken from the back (what? u tink u r chow yun fatt ar?) so he can blog about it.. well.. here you go.. picture as requested. but the extra thing is.. i decided to post it online. : P hehehehehe...

We went out at 11am plus.. and wrap it up around 11 plus pm too. 11-11. phew. tiring man.

On another totally unrelated stuff.. I shall post a pic on how i look like on normal working days.. hehe just to make me happy. : P

Now i'm happy.. teehehe..

Goodnight ya'all. *Huggies*

One buck short

2008-06-14T20:13:00.004+08:00

Ever woke up one morning asking yourself this question..
" wtf am I doing?"

Yes.. i have those mornings. In fact it span across not only on mornings, but afternoons and nights as well. Heck, miind as well just say the whole damn day.

Feelings are ridiculously over rated. Shytt i cant even spell ridiculus right if my life depends on it.

Sometimes I take pride in knowing i will always do the right thing, if not fully at least partially. But, lately.. I'm not doing that.

What defines right or wrong becomes so vague that I find myself crossing dangerous paths. Paths that are not meant to be taken at the first place.

Many times in life, when people cant find that one thing that they need in one place, and if they waited long enough and still find that they could not get it from that one place, people will subconsciously try to seek it from others.

Heck, im tired of ambiguity. Tired of living behind a shadow. A shadow that is not mine to begin with.

I've tried to make it work. I tried convincing myself that it is worth it. But everytime I try to get closer I feel your cold shoulders moving farther away from me. Why is it that everytime i want to stay you make me feel as if you dont care. But when ever I want to leave, you will make me want to stay? This is cruelty at its best. For nothing hurts more than a broken heart. Heart that was broken then mend then broken again. It gets weaker every single time which each passing by-pass. Its such a strain to be playing these games constantly. Is it too much to ask for a consistency? People find comfort in the familiar, pattern , routine. But i found none as it feels different every time. Please wake me up to my senses for this either has to continue or it has to stop.

Someone please tell me I'm right in thinking this way...

2008-05-25T10:53:00.002+08:00

I have neglected my blog far too long....

And right now.. I dont know where to start..

I dont feel like back logging.. I dont wanna feel. Just move on.

Did you wake up this morningAnd wish this was all just a phase?
Like tomorrow will be better
Ever have those days?
Where you just can’t seem to bring yourself
To stand on your own two feet
To get up and face the world
When your life feels so incomplete?
When I search for some hope
I look up into the skies
But the world is a sweeping sadness
Through my depressed eyes
I study people passing by
They seem to look right through me
No, they take a glance
And ignore the unhappy
Maybe my eyeliner hides my bloodshot eyes?
Maybe my powder hides my tears’ trails?
I take such pride in hiding
And paying attention to little details
Are we all contained In a mask we call a smile?
We’re so used to concealing
That we’ve become so versatile
But still I try to assure myself
That there’s still hope yet
And God knows that in the future
I’ll need all the help I can get
But when I’m feeling down
I’ll sweep my fingertip across my necklace
And feel it’s engraving run through my mind
When a true smile floods my face
I wear my necklace everyday
And use it to guide me whenever I’m pushed and shoved
Because I always need a little reminder
It reads “I am loved”

A fun filled Nite- Good Music, Good Company : )

2008-04-07T18:23:00.003+08:00

*burp*

ehem. excus-ey me.. just had a big dinner. me is happy. hehe

I had Monday blues today, well.. who doesn't. Came back to work today and shocked myself with the amount of work I had to follow up cuz yours truly was sick on Friday , thus.. did not turn up for work. Daylights Savings Time has started .. so work is from 7am to 3pm starting today. : )
That means more time in bed for me, and an additional hour to stay awake at night. hehe..

I went to our uni's Musical Nite last Saturday, and I must say, it was a good show. Kudos to the organizing team for a well put show. I enjoyed myself indeed. Going back to uni brings back many fond memories as I recall the time our Talent Nite team was busy going back and forth trying our very best to calculate and execute everything to perfection, hoping to close the margin of errors to a minumum. Ahhh... I miss those times. Those were good times.

I went back that nite, but the feeling was a tad bit different. Maybe because I'm no longer a student, I felt somehow detached. Like I dont belong there anymore. Haiz.. is this feelings normal? And I felt as if I'm older than my age, and that all the mui-muis and di-dis are my sisters and brothers.. come jeje buy you guys some sweet.. haha kidding .. kidding.. Any of you guys still studying and happens to read my blog.. It is all for fun sake. hehe..
But a portion of it is true tho, I felt somehow abit older than them. Abit jealous that they are here enjoying their uni years when mine has just passed. I wish to go back to those times.. but look forward we must.

The main reason of going to the Nite was to show our love and support to our very own Kent who will be ending his emcee-ing journey with this last event. And I could say, you ended it well.
You were at your natural best self and you pulled it through. Not trying too hard nor was it too bland. It was the just right mixture that I personally think you deserve a thumbs up for. Not to forget that you had a very good partner to compliment you. : )

The events day have passed and going back to uni somehow make me feel young again! Happy to see fresh young faces so eager , so enthusiastic, and so full of drive.
This is how it should be..

Life as it is.

2008-04-01T18:54:00.003+08:00

Life is not always filled with roses. Life isnt always good. But.. it is worth living.

It is never truly understood until you have been through it. To understand it, people look backwards. Flashback of memories running through your mind. But to live it, there is only one way. Forward.

More often than not, people say that they are unhappy .. but reality is.. happiness is by choice.
Not given, but by choice.

Reality is what it is it is. Not quite a place to be, but there is no escape.

I have a friend. Who has not been at her best lately. But she just want people to know that after the initial depression feeling days... acceptance sunk in. That life, no matter how we try to close our grip of control towards it.. is futile. We may be a perfectionist, but once reality sinks in.. all the perfection and beautiful control.. it is just crap. Just live the life you deserve.

People say you only live once. But I say if you live it well enough, once is more than enough.

I painted a picture perfect painting with a well put frame. But my hand shook, and the brush fell off my hand. The perfect canvas is tainted. But, it is still a good picture. As, I can always pick up the brush and paint me another painting.

Life is never easy. No one says it is.

But what matters most is that at the end of the day, after all the crap that we have to put up with.. we remain still standing.

I never regret of the past. It painted one of the most beautiful days of my life. But like all things that are good, it comes to an end. Cherish and remember the memories. Do justice to all those good times that was well spent.. and move on...

Living somebody else's dream.

2008-03-24T15:39:00.003+08:00

Why are we humans prone to pain?

For some reasons, pain comes by more often than pleasure. And the worse thing is, you never see it coming. It just hit right into your heart, suffocate you, intoxicate you and leave you broken. Broken of hope, broken of faith and it leaves you broken enough to make sure you will be in so much pain that it takes a million strength to recover.

But the thing about humans is.. we never learn. Never mind that people tell you it will hurt. Doesnt matter if you have been warned beforehand that it will indeed hurt. But you need to find our for yourself, how much it hurts.

Maybe we like to get hurt. Maybe we have to feel hurt. Feel the pain seeping into your bones that you feel its eating up your organs inside... that every single breathe you take it hurts you like a million needles poking to your veins. Maybe we are created this way. To make us feel real. To make us know that we arent immortals. That life is indeed short.

Sometimes we think that we are doing the right thing, but indeed we are not. We are fooling others just to fool ourselves. And that truely, we are just selfish enough to care only for ourselves and not others. That what we do affects not only ourselves but others. That it all happen like a chain of stories, each interwhine with another that one action you make causes a chain of reaction.

We think too much about what effect that we have on others that we never stop to think, what the hell do I really want instead. We spend our lives living within the boundaries. Boundaries that we drew or those that already exist before we even got there. Living in such constraint that sometimes you feel like letting everything go and live the life you want by crossing that boundary.

But, life is never that simple, for some boundaries are too dangerous to cross.

I never wanted to cause pain. For every pain that i caused, i get back so much more.
If it ever meant anything, I've tried my best. But I'm not doing too good here for i cant seem to find a balance between both sides. I need time to think. Time to convince myself that my choice is right. I dont want to end up chasing after something that is not even there.

I need time to think .

Survey who?

2008-03-23T14:21:00.003+08:00

This is the first time i've ever posted a survey in my blog.
There's always a first people say.. But this might be the last. So here goes nothing...

1.Whose picture is it that you keep in your wallet?
I dont have a wallet to begin with..

2. What time do you usually go to bed?
Early.. try waking up at 4.30/5am..

3. What was the last thing you did before filling this survey
Watched Project Runway..

4. Who's the person you're gonna call if you need help?
They'll know when i call them...

5. Who's number on your speed dials?
Dont use speed dials.. I rmb all u numbers pretty well... : P

6. With whom do you wanna be to have fun?
Loved ones.

7. How would you describe yourself?
Harmless unless provoked. : )

8. Who do you hate the most for now?
Hate is such a strong word... well, for the record.. i don have anyone to hate now. hehe

9. When was the first time you slept alone?
Cant rmb.. long time ago.

10. What do you wanna do for now?
Pick up the broken pieces.

11. What could piss you off?
Inconsiderate, bad-mouthing, back stabbing, reckless drivers, impatient pigs, chickens who run when things get bad, or snakes who appear whenever credit is due-tho they dont deserve it... well.. u get what i mean..

12. are you an animal lover?
yes, crabs taste good.

13. Colors that makes you happy
none in particular.i dont need colors to make me happy.. im self contented. *grins*

14. Most fav thing in your room?
i would have to say my bed.

15. What was the last thing you bought for your room?
nothing.

16. Any instruments in your room?
i cant play any... sad.

17. Can you cook?
i can cook up a decent meal.

18. Miss someone?
not at the moment.

19. Plan to buy something?
this is not a question worth asking to a girl. of cuzzzzz we wanna buy something..... pffft!

20. Do you like seafood?
my fav.

21. Breakfast or dinner?
Dinner

22 . What do you usually have for breakfast?
I dont usually take breakfast cuz i cant eat much in the morning..

23. Did you eat breakfast today?
yes.

24. Do u have a laptop?
company's..

25. What is your favourite fastfood?
Mc d.

26. Cats or dogs?
Dogs

27. City or country?
Both

28. How do you prefer to spend your holiday?
Its not so much as how, but i would say is who you get to spend it with.

29. Is kissing normal for your age?
No. kissing makes u pregnant. Hello?? what kinda q is this. im 23. so hell yeah its normal. even babies kiss okay...

30. Do you have your own cell phone?
No, i communicate using Morse code. Thats why my replies are always so slow.

hehe.. survey done! well.. that was fast..

yooohoo!

2008-03-20T15:53:00.002+08:00

Hey people..

Its holidayyyyyyy~ read my lips.. H.O.L.I.D.A.Y.S!!

Hehe.. Well.. its Good Friday on Friday (duh) and Easter on Monday.. So am having a long good weekend, and i deserved it. I've worked hard this week, so.. *pats self*

and.. I take back everything i ever say bout my car salesman.. he is in fact...... good !!!
i'm getting my car next week!! can you believe it?? damn fast okie.. and its black.
looks like he manage to live up to all of his promises.. haiz.. i judge him too soon. my bad.
but anyways.. my car will be here next weeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! yippie!

Its Tuesday baby!

2008-03-18T18:14:00.005+08:00

*deleted*

Work is fine, altho the workload is neverending and to think I only reached home at 5 and i started at 6am today? But.. all in all, its still good.. trying to catch up as fast as I can.. and man.. looking after an account with about 150++ companies aint easy i tell you. I'll pick up as i go..

Today was our Quarter Lunch as well... so our whole team was treated to a free lunch. hehe.. Its Chris, our big bro's birthday too.. So that calls for a celebration! hehe.. Cant wait for next quarter... : ) and Happy Birthday Chris. I wish you all the happiness in the world and may you have a good life over at Australia soon, and that everything works out just right for you. : )

I'm getting tired.. Its been a long day. Thats all for now... cheers.

Crap.

2008-03-17T17:57:00.003+08:00

Ever wonder why those fried, crispy, oily stuffs are just so addictive and yummilicious tasting?
Ugh. Hate it that they are made the way they are. I ate alot of mini hash browns for lunch today, and no.. i'm not ashamed of myself. Well, I should be... but I'm not. Ugh. I feel fat. Wait. Am i fat? ughhh *slaps face* Are you laughing at me..?? Hey.. its my body so I can cry if I want to! So right now.. i'm crying... T_________T. I need to crash diet... asap. Before convo... Well that is like 13 days from now... So how many kgs can one lose in 13 days? I'm getting hysteria....

I blame it on the mags. Pressure to look stick thin cuz thats what the mags are trying to tell young gullible girls like us right.? I mean wtf the models are forever slim without an ounce of fat, and normal poor thing like us are struggling to keep the weight off. And what more.. you guys like thin girls.. right?

Poor girls. You know what.. I'm starting to sound liek a pro feminist here... but hey.. guys have it so much easier alright.. no? Lets see.. guys dont have menstrual cramps, thats the first. No worries about what pain we have to go tru each month. GUys need not get over labor pain. They can just be teary and all happy cradling the newborn after it pop out of women. Guy need not worry about getting fat.. cuz well.. there isn any cuz! In short.. i wanna be a guy. wait.. no.. i dun wanna be a guy.. Guy's range of clothes are so limited k.. and you know whats another thing thats freaking bothering me.. ? Its so hard to buy a guy gifts!!! Ugh.. dont let me get into there..

So anyway.. this is a crappy post.. and being the crappy me i am today.. i'm not even gonna be bothered by it. So.. if anyone post any comment here on anything that even slightly imply that i am fat.. i shall tie your hands up, feed you smelly cockroaches and chuck you into some lice infested island or something.. i mean,,, for real. Do you see me laughing?

Ebiko sushi please, soya, chilli powder and wasabi on the side please..

2008-03-16T11:19:00.001+08:00

Politics makes me sick. Really, it does. I mean how bad can it be, you must be thinking.. well.. you need not look further.. you can witness it right at homeland baby..
Sit down, and watch as the ugly gets uglier.. everything unfolding right before your eyes..

Power struggles are so nasty. Its even more frustrating when the so called defeated one couldn’t except the fact that the worse had happened, so shaddap and work on filling the bloody huge ass hole that’s left behind your backyard now. Literally. But the one that was caught off guard with a pleasant surprise aren’t quite ready to step up to the plate. By that I simply mean that they wasn’t expecting it, and thus, wasn’t prepared for it. At least, I feel that way. If only they could all sit down over a cup of coffee and talk. Feel like slapping me to tell that its not even near possible? Haha… But no harm in hoping right..?

I really wish one day will come when Homeland is really mature enough, and the people governing it will see it through that if they sincerely want unity amongst all, stop bringing up the “differences issue” every single time something is brought up. I believe that normal citizens like me and you, would like to very much see that happen.

Well, as Homeland is going through so much changes and drama, it aint fair if its citizen is not right…? A few major and minor changes happened since I wrote my previous post.
The biggest change was.. yours truly just bought her first ever car!!! Hahahhaa… *shake shake* Well, the car is not here yet.. so you guys can still drive safely on the road for approximately 3 weeks more.. I hope I wont have to wait longer than that. You know la salesman.. they can promise you the moon before you buy the car, and once you did… he’ll be telling you ‘wut moon o? yao meh?? Fatt MOONg yao la!

So, there goes, the biggest purchase I have made thus far. : )

Other minor minor changes all, I guess need not I mention here.. simply cuz I need to mop my room now, so I just don’t have the time.. and I doubt it if you care. : P

Till then… Ciaoz.

12th Election Day 2008.. My First.

2008-03-08T19:48:00.005+08:00

Woke up at 7am today.. Surprisingly early for a Saturday.. but.. its most prolly cuz I'm so ussed to waking up at 5am to work everyday..

Today is a big day for Malaysia.. Our 12th Election Day! And not to forget, my first ever voting!
Reached my poling center, SMK Sri Permata @ Seaport (also my beloved highschool :P ) at 9 plus am.. I have to say.. The flow was good. I mean there are people everywhere to guide you where to go, which room to enter.. plus.. the whole process only took me around 5 minutes! It was organized in a god manner. I'm impressed.. i thought i would have to queue up for some time.. but.. it was all good..

Well, first when i reach, i proceed to the counter, pass them my IC, got my polling room number or which saluran i'm supposed to go.. Mine was saluran 9 so i proceed to the second floor of one of the buildings.. cant remember but i think its Block A,

I then proceed into my polling room, pass the lady my IC, she checked it.. then another guy to pass me the form, and then i would have to pass the form to another lady to get some holes punched..

Next, i proceed to one of the nicely covered tables, mark an "X" against the name of candidate of my choice.. hehe, and finally..... cast my vote in the secret ballot. Light orange form for Negeri into one box.. and Dark orange form for Parlimen into another box. There you have it.. a little bit long winded.. but that was the experience.

Well.. actually i don't quite understand why they need 2 people to handle the small forms.. cause they are practically sitting next to each other. so the same person can actually provide the forms and punch holes on them at the same time, no? hehe.. There were like 8 ppl for 1 room (1 to guard the entrance, 1 to check ur ic & read it out loud, 2 for forms, 2 for.. err i dunno.. 1 for the 2
secret ballots, and 1 chief officer to oversee the whole process.) Thats alot of people for me... hehe..

All in all, I'm happy that i experienced my first ever voting experience. It was an experience, but not like those "helluva wow" one... but.. hey, c'mmon ppl, at least exercise your rights, have a say over your country and,.. do your part as Malaysians! For those who have yet to register.. (tsk..tsk.. shame on you..) Faster do it quick! well, its like 5 years form now.. i know.. but who knows you'll forget about it by then right..?

And tonight, and i mean more like throughout the night.. we can expect results to slowly rolling in.. and we shall...... Hear what Malaysians have to say......

What 3rd of March brings you....

2008-03-03T18:46:00.003+08:00

You know you're really occupied when you missed reading kenny sia's blog for onw whole week.
I know... crazy right..??

Kennysia.com is like my fav blog to read. Its hilarious, witty, of substance and of cuz the daily dose of sarcasm. I just love it to bits.

Timothy tiah's blog.. well.. the co founder of Nuffnang's is a good read as well...

Ahhh... all is well when there's good blogs to read .. I simply enjoy it .. in fact i <3>

Imagine.. me coming back from home after work at 2pm.. finish up my stuff.. lie on my very comfy bed with my laptop in front of me.. chatting and browsing tru good blogs.. sipping my cold drink.. n eventually fall asleep.. haha.. well.. that is heaven i tell you.. don't get to do it very often.. but i savour the moment every chance i get... <3

Plus, Amanda borrowed me her hard disk the otehr day where i copied all her super nice series.. Little Britain ..omg! The 70's Show.. omgomg!.. all the super cun movies.. Ahh... me is very happy... : )

I think i lead a rather balanced life now.. well.. for one... i sleep and wake up early.. I work very hard at work.. and when i'm home.. i relaxxxxx to the max as well.. i eat rather little now.. cuz i have yet to get use to having my lunch at 9 or 10am.. >.<" so.. i tink im losing some weight.... which is good.. and my emotions are well.. when im upset.. im really upset.. and when im happy.. i do seriously feel happy. Am i making any sense here..? anyways.. what im trying to say is that i feel like im getting a well balanced mixture of both worlds. The good and the bad. Cz... last time.. i have this weird feeling behind the back of my head that when things are too good to be true, they prolly are.. and when things are bad.. they tend to hang around longer in my life...
But now... they r both present.. a mixture.. which i find it rather pleasing.. cuz.. u dont get too happy or too sad. u get what economics call it an equilibrium state .. haha.. if u tink im not making any sense here.. you are probably right. :P

Anyway, where was i? aww god.. my attention span lately is running low... oh.. ya.. what i wanted to say was i bought this pair of cons last 2 weeks that is supposed to make my eyes bigger.. n of cuz to make me look abit prettier cuz i dun fee l pretty when im wearing the specs. haha... its called whimsical brown.. and by no means did it make my eyes bigger! *geram* in fact.. nobody even realised i wore contacts.. obviously the claim that it will make one's eyes bigger is no longer applicable.. its from Freshkon anyway..
BUt ... shrugs... well.. at least i dont have to wear specs that often.. hehe.. But i only bought 2 months supply anyway.. just to try out... So.. by the time 2 months up.. u guessed it right.. im not purchasing it again. N-o.

It 3rd of March.. Countdown to 8 of March shall begin soon i gues..... ehhehe
Have you guys registered? hehe i did!! Did i sound excited? Well, if you think i did.. you think it wrong..
I woulnt say im very excited.. but hey i cant say im not either cuz its yours truly 1st time voting experience k!!
Im not gonna go into long posts about elections stuff and all..cuz.. well.. im not really into politics.
In the end of the day.. it doesnt matter who wins.. so long the one who did will fulfill their promises.. and take care of us peanuts.. Some say vote for the person, not the party.. some say the opposite...
I dunno about you.. but i have already got a pretty good picture on who i'm voting this time around.. But.. i shall not have it mentioned in here. All i can say is.. its not gonna be blue this time around..

So ppl, place your vote this coming 8 MARCH 2008!!! dO YOUR PART YOUNG VOTERS!... hehe..
dont miss the chance to have a say over your country... (part of en mi mundo por mis ojos community service effort..) heck.. wth.

p/s: yours truly is very happy cuz her voting center is sooooo near her home.. hehe.. wanna check? yeah.. you should... http://daftarj.spr.gov.my/daftarbi.asp

Mou tak chui lui yan ar... hehe

2008-02-22T19:26:00.003+08:00

Lately i'm beginning to think that my friends are weird. Either that, or i am.

Letme see, okay firstly they start calling me Blonde or Australian girl.. which annoys the gila monster out of me.. cuz for one, i did not dye my hair blonde and secondly, as far as i rmb.. i was born a Malaysian. Either they are right, or i was so blur into not realizing that i got swap during birth to some Australian couple. Makes me wonder..

Eh people.. i'm just working at Australian time, and dealing with Australian people.. but deep down this achy breaky heart lies a true Malaysian ok! My hair is still black and no, i have not lose my Malaysian slang. >.<" I'm still this very Malaysian girl who enjoys her Manglish and the consistent use of lah, wor, ya lo.. why leh.. kinda stuff and i dont plan to gv it away.. So.. if i ever hear 1 more word about Blonde again.. i'm gonna cook you guys alive. Literally. hehe..

In another totally unrelated note, i felt some sense of accomplishment cuz these few days Mr Kent stopped harassing my blog. And i guess it was bcuz of the msg i left him in my chat box hehe.. So i'm relatively proud that i managed to scare him away! *pats self* bangga nyer..

What not to be scared, this crazy fella always have the tendency to leave comments or msgs that are intentionally crafted to drive me crazy! I once received his comment that was so long.. heck, he is like writing his blog.. in my own blog! >.<" beh tahan ooo... And shud u ever wonder who came up with the Blonde thingy.. look no further.. he likes driving me mad. i noe. You take pleasure in the expense of my pain. But as i was saying.. i managed to keep him under control..
Cuz these few days he has been very well behaved. *pats his shoulder* hehe.. Keep it up buddy!
*shows two thumbs up*

Should he ever remain this way, u guys will know that i managed to tame the beast down.
But if he ever makes a comeback..... *curls fist*

p/s: Mr kent, my next possible entry may or may not be about a crush that my very good friend who once happened to be my boss and a student rep had. Whether it comes out or not.. depends pretty much on what he does. *hehe*

not very subtle was i..?

Randomly random..

2008-02-20T21:24:00.003+08:00

Everything is about money nowadays.

You want an education, you need money. When you are enrolled and studying, you need money. When you completed it, you need money too.

I just got the convo letter yesterday, and i shocked my eyeballs out when i read that i need to pay rm498! although rm 200 is refundable.. but stil... >.<

I try not to think about it.. How am i going to survive.. payment for convo, booking payment for car (yes, yours truly is thinking of buying a car), family, flowers and teddies for convo (hehe) , omggggg... whoever tell me that after working i'll be financially independent enough to buy stuffs i like .. come here and let me strangle you! Working does not provide you with extra cash. No.

Feel so broke suddenly.. ><

Anyway, as i was saying, convo is near.. so letme tell you guys what is favourable to yours truly. hehe.. alot of nice looking flowers(preferably carnation, sunflower or roses), cute teddies, piggies also can.. gifts would be so nice.. eeh.. oops.. terperasan me.. later that day all i get is some miserable stalk of dried up leaves... so.. yes, i am expecting flowers and teddies .. hahaha... i know.. beh tahan me right..? i cant tahan myself either.. ^^

*blush*

I think im getting older by the minute. Visible wrinkle lines are beginning to show.. I worry too much. Soome stuffs are worth worrying, but some are just plain extras. Cant help it either way. Too personal to have it mentioned here. But my mind is messed. Hopefully it'll get sorted out soon enough. *Toes crossed*

I know its a random jumbled up post today cuz i'm basically just typing whatever that comes to mind. So, pardon me. I would love to continue blogging me but.. the time forbids me to. Its 9.46 already and i'm close to bed. Working 6am-2.30pm has its pros and cons. One thing is although you are working the same amount of hours like others, but going home earlier than them somehow makes you feel as if you are working shorter hours. haha.. psychology i tell you..

But it does have its cons.. Like when you wake up early in the morning and go to work at 5.45am, normal people are basically just waking up from their sweet sweet dreams and some might be happily dreaming away still! And imagine to have your normal cycle all set up once again because now your "lunch" break is at 9am? ehehe.. bt after work you will more time to do your own stuffs.. and when you come as early as i do, you can kiss the traffic jam goodbye! ehehe.. pros and cons la..

Whatever it is, life is full of twists and turns. Sometimes i feel so in control of it , but there are times too that i just lose it.

Regardless of anything, i'm those who keep this "i aint givin up without a fight" mentality in my very own tempurung/kepala otak aku. hehe

Thats all for tonight.. till then, goodnightO!

And rmb the flowers... :P

L.o.v.e is...

2008-02-16T22:53:00.015+08:00

You know you're love strucked when..

Everything looks beautiful and crystal clear when you see it through his eyes and yours..

Even when it comes to eating.. your food starts to take or resemble the shape of anything like this..

Your heart might bleed eventually at some point, but it will always be cured by that person. Cleaned, sterilised, bandaged and seal with a kiss. Fast recovery is on the way, usually within a day. (or more.. hehe)

You feel like you can even reach for the stars and that all the stars in the sky shines only at you, for you...

And nevermind the fact that you both are so different in so many ways, but you always take the effort to accomodate one another..

i'm a cat rite, *rrribbbit* oops.. am i?

You also know your love strucked ,when that one person could have the power to turn your world upside down and inside out.. well... something like this picture of an indeed confused cat, thats having some sort of personality disorder.. well.. thats how powerful love is..

PLus, you also know you got it bad when even in the year of The Rat, you start seeing this...

=.=".. ya.. i know.. bad rite?

Regardless you love it, hate it, have it, lost it, never really knew what it is, or hurt by it...

Love is .. always there. It survived many years of evolution, and its basically the foundation to everything. At least to me it is..

One Orlando A. Batissa once said and i quoted, "The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they are still alive. " So.. I'm not gonna be most humans.. so..today this post is dedicated to you. For you.

Regardless that sometimes you are really like this..

But most times, you're an angel. So.. you're cool. We're cool. hehe..

So, may it grow and never stop growing for many years to come.

small heart become big big heart.. hehe...

Lovestrucked ,anyone? *grins*

This blog is still functioning... hehe

2008-02-15T10:00:00.003+08:00

I havent been updating my blog for sometime now, and i must say i'm ashame. hehe...
Well, the reason being that alot of things have been going on with my life, and i just could not figure out where to start.. hehe..

well, for a start, one major big ass thing that happened in my life happened in late January. A call that would have eventually change my course of career and pretty much my life. The call was from IBM. Upon thinking, contemplating and putting myself tru dilemmas day and night and various other nerve wrecking decison making sessions, yours truly have move on from audit to IBM now. As much as i miss the people i work with previously, i am also very happy here in IBM.

To the team i worked with for the very short one month plus, me miss you guys! Nevermind that the chances of any of you ever reading this is like 0.01%, but.. i miss all of you form the bottom of my heart. You guys have took care of me well, always willing to teach me and you guys made me feel welcomed. On the night of the farewell dinner, i tried to put up a brave front, but deep down i practically much knew that this smight be one of our last dinner together. On my last day, Iris you were so naughty into saying "How come didnt cry wan..?" ... that almost activated my tear system cuz it was already fully accumulated and ready to roll anytime. Serene, one of the nicest girl i've ever met. I wish you get what you wish for and send me goodies from Australia in future. Iris and Serene, you both are like sisters to me. To Seok Wei, my second senior.. i cant help but feel like wanna hug you at times cuz you are so cute! hehe.. YOu always like to tease me, and i never mind it at all .. cuz i like it. but i wont be comin back to clear the review points! hehe.. To my dearest senior Wai Yee. You must have gotten heart attack the first day when you knew your junior is from marketing! hehe.. But, you taught me well. Everything(altho limited) I know about audit, i learned it from you. You were always giving me chances to learn and practice and make mistakes. I will keep in mind all the knowledge you had pass on to me. Ok.. now i do sound kind of emo-ish. Whihc is partly the reason why i did not blog for sometime because i KNOW it will get emo-ish. All i wanna say is, i appreciate you guys. I appreciate that you guys still call and wish me luck on my first day in IBM, asking if everything was alright and can i adjust to the new environment. I felt deeply touched.
I wish i could still be working with all of you, but life took a twist, and i'm now heading to the direction i feel would suit me best.
I wish you guys continued success in your career and may you be happy and healthy always.
Do not forget this blur girl you once met in BDO Binder. : )

Having move on to the new company, changes to where i live now were also inevitable. I am no longer stayin at the rented place in Queens, for i have move back home.. because its nearer and more convenient travelling from home. I 'll start driving to work soon.. so watch out people!! hehe..

So many changes in such a short time. To my roomie and housemates in Queens, i miss you guys. I could recall the night before our first day of work. We were asking each other opinion like hey is this tie ok? or what you think of this skirt? and is this bag ok? reminding each other eh you got bring all your documents ar? I miss that. The sound of my housemate waking us up in the morning is something that i have grown so familiar with that in the morning of my first day of work in IBM, i miss that sound. I miss us chatting at night when everyone had reached home. Chatting and asking each other how your day have been. All these memories, i keep dear to heart. I wish all of you the best of everything and all the strength for you to persevere and succeed in audit life. I will drop by and kacau you guys from time to time.. hehe

Okay.. back to something less emo-ish.. as you can see from the time, its 10 30am.. and i am blogging. well, actually i shouldn't be, but well, lets say i'm using my free time wisely hehe. We are still on training now, but towards the end. Today is the last traiing day. We are suppose to meet up with our mentor later on, so for the time being.. this is what i am doing.

Today is the last day i will be working the normal working time i.e 9-5 pm.. Starting from next week, i will start work at 6am and end at 2.30pm instead. Shopping or movies anyone? hehe..

Today marks my fourth day in IBM and i must say, i like it here very much. The training helps alot as they explain and walk us through IBM history, values, organization chart everthing. We were also briefed and trained on how to utilise our think pad, step by step guidance on how to use relative functions/system, how to operate various office equipments, and many more which is quite impossible to explain all here. It makes you feel well taken care of. Like you know who to call if u need help, which person to look for, whihc floor. They are quite detail and sensitive in terms of taking care and guidin theier new hire. Plus, lunch is so convenient cuz IBM is connected to 1U tru One HOtel so, thats not a prob. But the price of the lunch is.
Its barely a week yet, so im still getting to know the company. I dont know how much will my perception or feelings change towards here after a while, but all i can say for the time being is, i like what i see.. hehe..

Thats all for nw.. my blog is revived!

Have a good day y'all! and Happy Belated Valentine's Day! (mine was goooood, how was yours?)

just some ramblings.

2008-01-20T21:09:00.000+08:00

I drank the biggest coconut ever tonight. >.<"

it was so big, its even bigger than my head! heck,its even bigger than kenny sia's. Teehehe...

Felt so full that i almost felt like vomitting. But ididnt , of cuz. And now.. im hungry. >.<' BUt everythings good, cuz.. im expecting some very delicious green curry coming my way... hehe

It feels so relaxing tonight that it suddenly occur to me that i have not made any resolutions for 2008! So here goes... My resolution for 2008 is ....to not make any resolutions!! Hah!

Never will i revert back to that young innocent girl attentively making all her resolutions, promising herself that she will fulfill every of it, but end up forgetting about it one week or so later. hehe. I dont want to succumb myself into futilely making all those resolutions that i know i will never keep. >.<"

So, lets just say that my resolution for 2008 = none.
I'll just do what i would normally do, but double the effort. =)

Talking bout 2008.. many things seem to be happening. How could we not remember the big bang scandal that surprised us early of the year, the kidnap of little Sharlinie (i hope they find her soon and that she's alright and not harmed and the bloody culprit behind this whole thing get caught and face his much deserved punishment) my heart goes to her family members. May they stay strong during this very trying time. And how could we ignore the front page story that seem to grace (or disgrace) our nation. How could it be that our once chief judge could indeed have the possibility of being corrupted? I just could not accept someone from that level could be involved. i find myself losing faith with my own country. ( i dont want to.) How could it be that small childrens could not go to playgrounds due to fear that they might get kidnap and to have cameras installed nearby? It is just so wrong in so many levels. Why is it that we no longer feel safe just taking a short walk to our neighbours' place without having to fear that we will not get rob by some snatch thieves or risk getting some parang welding fella shoving their parangs on our throats? Why is it that cars get stolen so easily? At the end of the day, the question is, How could we not feel safe in our own country?

Enough said. Or should i say i dont know what else to say.

Some things just never change.

My life after uni..

2008-01-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

Time passes by very fast when you're in audit.

On one fine sunday night you find yourself utilizing every single minute to relax, just bsc you know tomoro comes another working week, ... then you find yourself waking up in early monday morning (practically dragging your feet)... and the next thing you know.. its already FRIDAY!!!

You will find yourself feeling kinda happy on a friday for no particular reason.. : )
I absolutely am looking forward for weekends, now that i have started working. Time seems very very precious now, and if by any chance i get any time to relax, i will literally jump at the opportunity!

Work is fine and i find myself learning new things every single day. I love the project that im currently charted to and life has been very busy. I love it when i'm occupied because when your working on to something, you wont realise the time. My senior and colleagues have been teaching me alot of stuffs and i really appreciate them doing so. Sometimes, i feel kinda bad because i dont want to bother them too much because they too have work to get done. So, i try to pick up stuffs on my own sometimes.

I have lost touch with accounts for almost 2-3 years .. so.. credit debit stuffs do seems confusing to me at times. But i am learning. I am trying. I am giving myself a chance to work this out, and hopefully the light at the end of the tunnel will come to light very very soon.

As i was saying, work is fine but... travelling to work is NOT.

The normal routine for me is to wake up at 6, wash wash brush brush eat eat and leave the house by 7.20am. After that comes the 12 minutes (depending on speed) walk to the star lrt, 15 minutes ride and another 10 minutes walk to the office. By the time i reach office, i am practically soaked wet. >.<" (not a pleasant sight)

Sigh.. was i too pampered last time? I used to go everywhere and anywhere by car last time.. but now.. i can safely say i am fully utilizing my both legs. No longer can rest. I see myself telling them both legs "C'mon, work it babies!"... But at least the positive side is i might shed some kg-s.. no? Teehehe..

I work till 8pm and by the time i reach home, it is 9 plus. Do some stuff and by 11.. i'll be sleeping like a baby. So on average, i only have 1 and a half hours max per day to do my own stuffs And the whole cycle repeats the day after. I hope i am not scaring anyone, but audit work is really tough, The hours are long, public holidays and weekends does not necessarily mean you can rest at home. But the plus side is, you will learn alot of stuffs. You get to meet many new people. And it is of course very interesting. And the most important thing is..*drumrolls* you might even LOSE WEIGHT!! i dont know if i am imagining it or what,. but i do find myself feeling a tad bit lighter lately. hehe...

I miss doing all the stuffs that i was so used to doing. Im miss watching my tvb dramas, i miss surfing the net, i miss going out for movies, dinner or whatever that comes to mind, i miss having all my time in the world to spare, i miss home, i miss alot of stuffs. I miss my life before working. >.< I miss all you people that i love so much! I miss hanging out at night. I am so not accustomed to sleeping ealry and wake up early routine. Those who know me will surely understand the suffering i am facing everyday .. waking up at 6!!!! *SOBS*

So if you were to ask me what i think of working life? i would say bring me back to uni! Teeheeee..

CONNED!

2008-01-12T22:29:00.000+08:00

well.. to put it on a nicer note, i got semi-conned.

why you ask? Its just one of the few things that could go wrong when you decide which movie to watch. I bet it happen to you a least once.. when you go to the cinema.. thought that the particular must be good because they semi-cheat you into believing that the movie is good because they the only part they show you in their sneak previous are the good parts in the movie, and sometimes if you're really unlucky, those little bits of sneak preview parts are the only good parts in that movie!! wth right? i second you. When i think of hese things.. many examples of movies that i felt i got cheated on by their sneak previews are bridge to terrabethia(not sure if i spelled it right) .. that movie is a conner! whats with 28 weeks, hide and seek and countless of others. But i must say, once in a while, you do get a truly good money, worth every cent of your 10 bucks, and if its on student id price.. wala! you got yourself a good deal!!

ok.. where was i? oh ya.. back to the semi conned issue. I dont really know how to put this because i just got back from pavillion and watched this particular movie that got me thinking" what am i doing here"? its not very bad.. but its not very good, nor is it an average movie that you can accept and just watch it cuz you already paid for it. Thats why its semi conned. It is those kind of movie that can make you feeeling blah. As in bleh!. Its not as bad as the movie "My mother is a belly dancer" or "When a stranger calls". The latter is a real cheap flick horror movie wannabe! bleh!

Why am i keep strayin away from the topic tonight..? ok.. we shall go back.

This particular movie that i am talking about is none other than "In the name of the King".

In the name of what you say?? Double sigh-s. When you see the poster, one might be expecting something good you know. Dah-la the name also so glamorous.. the title itself creates a certain sense of curiosity... But.. the higher your expectation... you know the rest. Everything was BAD.
Bad actors, bad production, bad script.. and curiosity? .. none! You dont even have to guess what will happen cuz its as easy to predict as in predicting whether a child will take a candy!.

Enough said.

So.. i got semi-conned into spending my saturday watching In the name of what? ..
Haiz.

At least the company was good. :)

I work out some reasons why people would actually watch this movie. Here goes..
1.) You got conned by the poster/title (just like me..)
2.) You're a movie addict. Any new movie that comes by, you just have to watch it. (Like wise here.. :>)
3.) You bought the wrong tickets. Dont laugh.. It does happen.

And if after reading this, you still decide to watch it..
i conclude that you must be rich. (RM10 ONLY MA..u say) Either that, or you just wanna try out to see how bad it is. Not a very smart move, i would say..

Either way.. dont say i didnt warn you.. In fact, you should thank me in return for saving your RM10 bucks! Heck, i watched it for RM12 bucks today! >.< ??

Instead, do channel your RM10 bucks to movies like Rendition instead.. not bad.. not bad..

Upon writing till now, i just realize how long i have blogged about one single lousy movie that i spend my precious saturday on. Hmm.. either the movie really bothered me or i am just plain very "tak han.." :)

Teehehe..

warning: many many many words ahead.

2008-01-10T02:09:00.000+08:00

promises made.. promises kept. : ) i promised to update, and here i am. *smiles ever so proudly*

Just finished some work and... since tomoro is a public holiday.. so i thought.. why not layan abit my blog that have been set aside to the empty dungeon for some time. PLus, some ppl are.. well, for some reasons which i do not know .. seem to be ala ala promoting and complaining that i didnt update and busy wit my skeletons.. so.. wut to do.. but.. i'm really happy that some ppl actually want to read or maybe dun want to but cant help it but read or read to fill time or simply reli do wanna read to noe more about whats happening in my life... hehe.. either way, im
: > !

So.. to save time.. since i no loner have much left since i started work.. here goes the breakdown :

22-25/12/07-Malacca outing which was veli veli nice! too bad, the 6 of each, none brought a cam.. cuz each tot the other will bring it.. -.-" The food was nice la no doubt.. lodging is free courtesy of friend's sista condo ^^.. plus, safari world .. neh.. when we went to see the elephant and have to feed them sugar cane cost RM2 each! The thing is.. no matter how many you feed, they still want more! And when you dont give them more.. plus if you sit on the front row.. hah! Kena air liur nya.... adui... the safari ride was not bad.. altho i find that the humans are more amuse over the animals than vice versa.Guess they got bored of entertaining too many of us too many imes in a day and countless times in a year! PLus, the lions are too thin for my liking, and the tigers, alto well fed and beautifully striped, they are damn lazy man. Didnt see them move a muscle.. hehe! oh ya! Xmas was cool too! Pavillions's decpration is super nice! Whhite Christmas .. jus how i like it ! =)

26/12/07: Yours truly birthday. =) Thank you to those who call/sms/testi/msg/mail/snail mail me. You ppl made me reli reli happy! =) Tq to those who called from overseas .. Felt so warm and surprise bcuz you guys actually do that for me. ^^ TQ for the surpise that i got in Malacca. That was one of the very few times that a surprise actually really work without having fake it. =) You guys are reli good actors. hmm.. got me all fooled up and rolled up under your sleeves.. hmm... ^^ Plus, Had a very good seafood fiesta and movies, outings in pavillion and many more. Plus, i shifted to my new place on this day too!
Indeed a memorable one.

This year is abit weird cuz some ppl who i was almost 100% certain will wish me didnt.. :( but some that i totaly did not expect it did! : ) So for those who didnt.. hmm.. i rmb u!.. so.. if ur under this category, i stil accept belated wishes! hehe.. kidding onlyla.. no.. i mean really! for real.. ^^

31/12/2007- New Year Eve!!
Marks the ending of year 2007. Haiz. The mark of my ending uni life and the beginning of a new page. We reli had a blast la.. thats all i can say. Sakae Sushi was delicious and scrumpous to begin with, plus.. if you are hanging out with 3 very crazily siao funny and daring girls... hmm... expec the unexpected!.The boys cant even meet our energy level! wakaka.. that nite.. hmm.. nvr had i wished strangers that pass by happy new year and smile and sing to them for no particular reasons, alomost kena kiss by some westerners who i think actually meant well, just like a new year greetings, nvr kacau a policeman on duty and talk crap wit him, nvr had i intentionally and purposely enter to teh danger zone in bukit bintang that is filled with ppl armed with snow sprays and ribbons sprays when we dont even have one, nvr had i wear a mask and walk down the streets and blow my whistle and wished everyone happy new year as if i was doing a free promotion.. but witout pay of cuz and nvr had i receive such beautiful flowers. Many first times. Really felt like i started 2008 with a bang! Unlike some health ministers of cuz.. i guess i waslucky to be on the other side. Naughty Naughty boy he is.. ^^ (no pun intended of cuz)

2/1/2008- My first day of work. Felt kinda lost like a stray wet kitten under a heavy pouring rain with no shelter to take cover from.. but.. u noe la.. first day.. so i guess its.. erm.. normal? ^^ .. hopefully..
I think i put the capital b in blur .. at least thats how i felt. ^^ BUt.. after 1 week of work.. am slowly beginning to adjust and get the hang of stuff.... Workload is quite alot. Busy as its the peak period of cuz.. and plus im relatively new in this field. Many things to learn. many many many things to learn. Sometimes i feel like there is no more time for myself. I really really miss college and uni life. I miss eveyrthing. I miss doing things at spur of the moment, but now.. i cant even go for a movie without planning the time properly.. *sobs* some things you just have to let go.. in order to hopefully gain something better. for those who are concern if this marketing girl can survive in an accouting world..? the answer is im surviving. ^^ no doubt i am struggling abit.. and at times i do feel that everyhting is just so wrong and that the thought of quitting did flash tru for a nano second tru my mind.. yes, im stil surviving. I was used to knowing what i was doing, how to do it and evey related matters. Finishing the job was not an issue. the issue was how good can i make it be. i used to have that. But currently, theres so many new things to learn and i really hope that the unfamiliar will be familiar to me soon. For now, i'll just have to have my fingers and toes crossed and double crossed that i will start to strive and not just only survive. ^^

Its getting late. way to late. But since i can go in anytime tomoro (Yes, i have to work tomoro altho its a publice holiday, but its ok wit me.. better! cuz can do more wokr and learn more.. ^^) so.. sleeping at 3 . and waking up at 8.. shud be ok kua..

so.. im signing off now..
dont miss me too much... ^^
will update as and when i can. =)

Happy 2008! May you have a good and blessed one.

Long overdue

2007-12-28T21:58:00.000+08:00

Bonjour... hehe

I feel like updating my blog actually... but then.. i feel not suddenly.
So many things happen , so many stuffs going on, i dun even know where to start!!
I will update my blog a.s.ap.
Just not tonite... cuz.. im dead tired like a dead cow.. ><
and this posting is just to prove i'm still aliveeeeee~

HUgs.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays ppl!

officially ending tomorrow...

2007-12-18T22:09:00.001+08:00

never ever go to pasar malam when you are freakin hungry like a starved cow. Never. no buts. just dont try it if you're trying to put off those kilo-s. *sigh* I wish i knew better.. i ate so much just now, and i'll prolly have to eat more later cuz the food is not finished yet.. i now weight and feel like a whale. literally.

and i guess i should be panicking now.. for i have only read 1 chapter of moral.. but.. somehow.. i dont feel so. wut u think? serious? cheh.. i bet the majority of u guys also sama case with me ler... right? hehe... nvm nvm.. relek.. still got time. *console self*

after tomorrow, it is really the end. and i really have to start preparing for working life! feel so grown up all of a sudden. Abit scared, abit excited, my heart feels heavier by the second knowing there's so much i love that i would have to leave behind, abit nervous too cuz i do not know how my new life would be. And you know whats the best thing? lately, well.. not exactly lately cuz its been bothering me for quite some time.. i worry about alot of stuff. but some are totally unnecessary! like i should be worrying bout whether i can perform in my new work, or whether i'll be able to learn fast or not, or etc.. but instead i worry about whether got ppl teman me eat lunch or not! i know.. wth ??? >.<" wth wth wth.

i cant wait to be a young working adult. i dont feel like working. yes, the very contradicting me.

wonder what there is to do after tomorrow. there are a few clubbing sessions. ah joo's on wed and hazel's on thurs. dont think i'll be joining.. cuz.. there's tons of stuff to pack and.. of cuz.. the fact that i dont reli club much. :D I should stop now. as in now. the moral notes are calling for my attention. tell me again why are we taking this subject in the last sem? @#$%$#^%^% *oops* i did not say that.

i really really hope i could do some of the questions. just enuf to pass cuz.. its not counted in our cgpa anyway. but a pass is required. so.. if you feel like doing some good deeds tonight, pray that i'll do well. and GOOD LUCK to everyone taking the moral paper tomoro!

pretty please?

the many faces of me.

2007-12-17T23:17:00.003+08:00

warning:
viewer discretion needed. gazillion vain pictures ahead. view at your own risk.
if you see a need to scratch your eye balls out, do not look for me.

the many faces of me..

way back when i was still a juvenile..

me, dated 3 years back.. college days..

somewhere.. after college..working while waiting for uni to start..

beginning of uni life.. i look blur, i was blur! still am, no?

(2006) 2nd semester of my 1st yr in uni.. ran for the student representative election *thanks, hugs. i still remember what you guys did for me up till today.

the day i organized the 1st big event in uni-Talent Nite 2007. the pics abit blur. will update more on this later.

random pic, and yes, i know, i look silly with the cap @ aquria klcc

random, not my flowers.. -.-", random

had enuf of me yet?... hehe.. did i hear a no? okay.. guess i'll continue then.. : )

2006 & 2007 malacca trip

vaiva- thesis presentation day. one of the most freakin nerve-wrecking, scary,tension and important day of our entire uni life.

gone were those long hair days.. : (

say hello to shorter hair! wut.. not clear enuf?

ok ok.. nearer.. hows that? : P

i took some time uploading this k? *proud-nyer* hehe.. managed to find smtg else to do.. other than read my moral.. =)

ok ok.. i think i should put you out of your miseries.

so how? like it, no?

see ya!

morally deprieved.

2007-12-17T17:04:00.000+08:00

moral paper on wed.

percentage of studies done? .. less than 5 percent.

degree of severeness? erm.. i dunno.. dun want to know.

i never believed in moral paper. what, you study it and you become a better person morally? *pfffft* so not true.

but anyway, anyhow.. u cant run away from it. so .. i guess the best thing to do is.. study? i feel so lame.

ughh! ughh! ughh.! i dont wanna study moralllllll~

and btw.. found a new crib in Bandar Sri Permaisuri... thats where i'll be moving to.. to make it more convenient for me to travel to muh work place. hehe

too-dee-loo!

random..

2007-12-17T00:32:00.000+08:00

got my chat box. :P

managed to remove the borders out of my pathetic lookin emoticons but the white areas are still there. so, i gave up! *ugh* somebody pls helppppppppppp cant seem to get it right.

wanted to put slide picas.. but.. erm.. the pc is so freakin fast.. so.. nvm that.. it takes like ages to upload. *failed attempt*

and my mood is.. erm.. not at its best today. i get irritated very easily. plus some crappy stufs that are ongoing now. >.<

nvm those.. anyways, i managed to watch the dance competition last night, and.. RF won. as expected. they were almost invisible last night, i would say. And i totally was in love with the taiwanese judge..(whats his name again?).. if im not mistaken.. he is Jolin's and Cyndi Wang's dance teacher no? Bobby looked absolutely handsome last night too! good show.. good show..

as for the clash of 4 titans.. i have no idea whatsoever whats going on now..as i did not go. : ) The M.U fan went with his kaki-s. hehe . better stil, i wasnt lookin forward to go either.. cuz.. erm.. its not really my thing. hehe. so.. its a win win situation as.... he get to watch it with his kaki-s and watch both matches (cuz if i were to tag along.. i will wanna go home after the first match kua..) while i get to stay at home and do my stuffs. hehe ^^
anyway.. im pretty sure he is enjoyin himself now. =) likewise for me here... =)
jus in case he happens to read this.. (i sure will accompany you if you want de.. hehe)

so... i guess i did pretty good today. ^^
got my blog lotsa new stuff. i'm sure she's happy.

wakakaka~

Laters.

lazy saturday.

2007-12-15T17:52:00.000+08:00

*sniff*

initially planned to watch The Golden Compass, but it was already full as in not even enough to squeeze two people in ! we were already prepared to take the front seats but.. i guess others are faster. so.. felt like all dressed up but no where to go. *apa ni???*

anyway, i'm in the comfort of my condo now. the sky is abit dark and i think it will most likely rain.

so tonight is the final of Astro Battle Ground at Ruums KL. Been watching it on an off.. hope i get to watch it tonight. *hehe* my hunch on whos the winner? The one who will take home Rm25,000 woeth of moolah? hmm.. most prolly racken force. I like them. Not as in crazy over them, but one cant deny that they do look very comfortable on screen, and very entertaining. Whether can they dance or not, i guess its pretty obvious since all are from So You Think You Can Dance. But i would like to see the underdogs win tho. CReate some elements of surprise. So, Twister ET, I wish you both all the best. (Altho its like 99.9% that they will never know this, but.. just for fun :P)
CID Crew from our university will be perfoming in the finals too! Cant wait to see them dance! They have definately improved alot and my.. from what i heard they have alot of fans and supporters (Moi included) So.. all the best to them too! Have a great show and a great night, and of course have fun dancing!!!

Tonight is also Jolin's Concert at Genting! Din went, cuz im not a big fan of hers, but .. she's alright. (some of my girlfriends are her fans.. so..)

If i'm not mistaken, there will be two very big matches going on. I guess since the placement is so ngam Chelsea vs Arsenal, and M.U vs Liverpool.. they decided to make it big. hehe
There will be this celebration at Sunway Lagoon too. Don ask me about the details, as i dont know. hehe. Heard it over the radio that some guy will be coming too.. hailed as the ryan giggs before ryan giggs was even ryan giggs! hmm..
Will mostly watch it tomorrow night as i got an M.U fan with me. hehe
so.. gLORY GLORY MAN United!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hehe.. wth.

alright then. im tired. im hungry. and i havent bath. Before i go.. have a look at some of these crazy thoughts. something to cheer up your saturday. =) Till then, have a great weekend.

1. Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?

2. Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?

3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

4. Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"

5. How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt?

6. Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

7. How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up.

rating on i am legend--> 8.5857463847329 / 10

2007-12-15T00:57:00.001+08:00

remind me why am i here again?

the 4th time of the day.. pretty impressive i would say.. *hehe*

oh ok.. i wanted to tell you about the movie i went and watched in the afternoon

no worries, am not giving you spoilers

heck, im too lazy to blog on the plots and endings anyways

one word only---> it was gooooooooooooooood.

at least i like it.

so stop being a picky and go watch it!! *hehe*

you wont regret it i am positively sure.

im not revealing any hints of the story..

so you can go with a curious yet peaceful mind,

knowing it will be a good movie.

more than worth it with our student rate of RM7 only. *student id rocks!*

hehe..

ooo and btw.. will smith looks absolutely deliciousss~

till then.

have a good night y'all. *bear hug*

blogthings? i like you. =)

2007-12-14T23:43:00.000+08:00

came across this site called www.blogthings.com, and wippie! got meself occupied with some of these veli interesting quizzes... quite true to a certain extend.. i do have reservations about me not bein a good cook and stupid tho. *scoffs* how could i not be a good cook? ..
so take a look at these.. or dont bother at all.. either way, i'm pretty sure u will.. hehe..

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way
You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to
Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets
No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

What Do Guys Like About You?

There's a Chance You Could Be Violent

Overall, you're a pretty chill person - and you have a good handle on your emotions.
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.

Could You Be Violent?

Your Relationship is Still Building Strength

You're relationship is fairly strong, but you're still working on making things solid.
Make sure you're both treating each other with kindness and respect, even when things aren't going well.

How Strong Is Your Relationship With Your Guy?

You Are 44% Shy

Although you live a pretty normal life, you tend to be a fairly shy person.
Many situations make you feel uncomfortable, and you sometimes find your shyness hindering your life.

How Shy Are You?

You Are 58% Grown Up, 42% Kid

You've grown up a good bit, but you still have a way to go before you're emotionally mature.
You have the skills to control your emotions, you just have to use them.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

You Have Many Alpha Tendencies

You're not a total alpha female, but you certainly know how to - and like to - get your way.
You're forceful without being intimidating. You're confident without being vain. A perfect mix.

Are You an Alpha Female?

You Are Not a Cook

You know cooking isn't for you, and you wouldn't even consider trying to make a homecooked meal.
And this is a very good thing. You've saved all your friends and family from unintentional food poisoning!

Are You A Good Cook?

You Are the Ego

You take a balanced approach to your life.
You definitely aren't afraid to act out on your desires - even crazy ones.
But you usually think first. Morals drive you as much as hedonism does.
You've been able to live a life of pleasure... without living a life of excess.

Are You Id, Ego, or Superego?

You're Pretty Stupid

You got 3/10 questions right!
It's probably time to get your head examined. You hardly know left from right.

Are You Stupid?

You Are a White Wine Woman

Breezy and casual, you know how to have fun when you're drinking.
And even though you can kick back with a few drinks, you never let things get out of hand.
Alcohol is not a social lubricant for you... it just enhances your already sparkling personality.
You prefer to date a man who is optimistic, friendly, and funny.

What Kind of Drinking Woman Are You?

You Are a Mai Tai

You aren't a big drinker, but you'll drink if the atmosphere is festive.
And when you're drunk, watch out! You're easily carried away.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

You Are 68% Happy

You are a very happy person. Generally, you feel content and that all is right with the world.
Occasionally, you have a down day - but you have the ability to pick yourself right back up.

How Happy Are You?

*the end*

feel like taking one already? *hehe*

dark and cloudy.

2007-12-14T13:41:00.000+08:00

The sky is dark, cloudy with the occasionally thunder. Reflects how i feel. Dark. Moody. Thunder as in feel like about to burst out.

*edited*

This is my life. I take the risks. I call the shots. I bear the consequences.

All i need is support and trust. And some love, of course.

Haiz, i called to chat and i end up feeling the way i am. Oh well, at least ethics turn out fine. =)

Im off to bath. Wash the heat away from me. panassss~

I am legend. Here i come~~~

yes, i dont sleep.

2007-12-14T04:52:00.000+08:00

the blog is re-vamp. yes, again.. dont go -.-?? on me.. cant help it okayy~ its 4.55am approximately 4 hours to go before the ethics paper *ughh* had to de-stress. that bloody cup of coffee is to be blamed! *grunts* but why in the world did i had it in the first place?? *smacks head*

ok.. so i managed to gobble up 9 filled chapters of ethics in a day. to what extend i could vomit it out back later remains unknown. so if u happen to see me tomoro with my head hanging lose, you know what happened. ethics is just so.. erm.. ethical? hehe...

anyway, this is a completely meaningless blog i tell you, as i do not have anything to say. i'm mentally drained from studying the whole (i havent step out at all), my head feels heavier than my body and your body add up together (like real,), my mind tells me to sleep but my body cant or should i say cannot?, well.. erm.. wheree was i ?... *blackout*

so at the physical state i am now, i think i am drained. sucked out of all energy or the slightest sign of life.

so off to bed i go to salvage anythings thats left of me.

To all thats sitting for the ethics paper tomoro i wish me and you GOOD LUCK AND ALL THE BEST.

To the lead lecturer who did not give out any tips whatsoever- i dont like u. for now.. hehe

till then..

What if..

2007-12-11T20:02:00.001+08:00

if u were an animal, what would you be?

hmm.. interesting question eh?
this question just pop-ed out of nowhere...

i guess if i were to be an animal (if i really really have to be one la-h)
i'd be a dog.

More specifically, a Shih Tzu.

Just coz its simply irresistably cute. PLus, you know what they say

about man's best friend? Yes, you got it right if "dog" appears tru your mind.

Well, i was thinking,

if i couldnt be a human, at least be something that will be
loved, fed, taken care of and close to human. ^^

I asked this question to SW too.. he say he will be a tapir.
And i was like -.-??

Why on earth tapir???
He say coz they are like very few in numbers and about to be extinct.

Hmm.. i dunno.. try and take a look at both pics below.
Would you rather be a cute shih tzu dog or a black and white animal with a weird nose, but quite a cute ass?

poem sharing day!

2007-12-11T16:51:00.000+08:00

The Truth About Drink Driving

I read this in the paper,
And it really made me think;
That a quarter of all road accidents
Can be blamed... directly... on drink.

Now statistics, they tell you, will never lie,
But be wary of how they're used;
You need your wits about you,
It's easy to get confused.

If a quarter of accidents are had by drunks,
Then sober people have all the rest;
That's 75% if I'm not mistaken,
... (My maths never were the best).

But I'm not entirely stupid,
And I plan to stay alive;
So I'm gonna start driving drunk,
I'm three times more likely to survive.

Copyright; Ian Mackay - May 1995

i thought it was cool so i came up with this..

This poem you see,
this one right above,
i googled it from the internet,
cuz i suddenly feel like becoming a poet
but as you can see ,
if you can see what i can see,
becoming a poet, i shall never be,
anyway anyhow, back to the story,
i am not encouraging drink drinking, so please don't sue me,
drinking and driving is never the best combo for you and me,
so before you do it
please think carefully
the poem above titled" the truth about driving" is not dependable you see,
cuz i got it from a site named for the lunatic and crazy!

midnight creepy crawlie.

2007-12-10T01:06:00.000+08:00

its exactly 1.07 am and here i am.. blogging.

whenever exams are near ANYTHING is better, anything except studying.

watched this Japanese drama Jotei (smtg on night club hostess)
and i tot it was like superb.
altho on normal days.. i would have dismiss it because i dont normally watch Japanese.
but i exhausted all my tvb, prison break n heroes till i hv none left.

surf the net aimlessly (bsc i finish checking everything)
and it felt very comforting.

the plain sight of watching the sky or clouds or just sit down n not move seems
like an interesting to do.

Have you ever felt this way?

The thought of having to pick up that very heavy few pages of slide notes
or the intimidating looking textbook
is enough to make you sleepy just thinking of it.
let alone actually reading it.

This is creepy..

Not very healthy i would say. Not for a final year final sem student.

Arghh.. i gotta do something. Anything! To get me out of this lazy bimbo attitude of mine.

Lord i'm doing, all i can,
To be a better student~~~

Did i just sang that? *gulps*

mes.s.y

2007-12-06T18:25:00.000+08:00

its been raining the whole day.. n yes the weather is jus purr-fect. =) i just wrote this rather messy, negativity surrounded, whinny complaning blog in the afternoon. But guess what? i dunno what in the world happened, it deleted itself! maybe its just signs telling me its not appropriate to be posted.

Anyways, its now evening, n i am happy. Sometimes i really wonder how emotional can one person be. That mood comes and go before u realize it was ever there in the first place.

So back to my story.. it was such a nice weather, hence my nap.. when suddenly the phone rang and i was abit grumpy as i hate to drag my sorry ass to take the call. Anyway, i was in for a surprise as it was Deloitte's HR Manager calling to infrom me that they are offering me the job. : ) I was surprise so i told them i needed some time to consider. The very nice HR lady asked is it okay if i reply within 24 hours as they will be off to their annual dinner tomorow afternoon. I of course replied yes, no problem. hehe..

For those who have been in contact with me these few weeks, im sure u guys had enough of my dilemmas. *thanks for always being there* I got another job offer from BDO Binder earlier on and i am very keen on taking it. There are alot of pros n cons to consider.. but imnot gonna write it here as.. im lazy. I think i have already made up my mind. But i requested to consider anyway cuz i tot it might be very impolote to reject it rightaway. Anyway, i will call BDO to confirm tomoro n Deloitte to decline their offer. I like Deloitte no doubt, plus its really near my house.. but everything just seems to point me towards BDO. If you wanna know why in detail, u can ask me anytime. I am just very happy that i got offered the job for both of the interviews i went to. Its been some pretty stressing weeks when i started hunting for jobs at the beginning as i was not getting any reply. However, later on.. everythin fall into place.. Hmm.. must tell myself to be more patient in the future.

PLus im abit worried that i have yet to start my finals preparation. i havent been studyin a wink since i got back. tsk..tsk.. theres just so many things to settle.. i need to settle my room in my condo payments of rentals bills, set a date to move out so de newbie can move in, decide if i wanna move back to my house in pj to stay or move in with my friends cum future colleagues so that we can keep each other company n safe safe ^^ (u noe la.. crime rate veli high.. dangerous to go back home alone, especially if u have to ot!), plan my trips (malacca, langkawi, class trip etc) plus mua's birthday is comingg *hint* *hint* hehe Luna Bar.. i smell you~~~ plus my very last minute shopping for formals cuz i oni have like 2 sets (very de kasihan..) n not to forget i have to finish everything asap cuz im starting work like 2nd of January??!!!@!
Lord.. save me...

So here i am.. stil blogging about it when i should be studyin instead. But even if i wanted to start now, i cant.. cuz its dinner time. =P

My life is just so so so messy now. But its messy for the better. So off to dinner i go.

Bubbyee.

3/12/07

2007-12-03T23:28:00.000+08:00

i'm working towards you. Closer from where i've started. Chasing after you. I'm letting go all i have ever hold on to. Chasing after you. I'm running towards you, but i'm not quite sure where to go or where i'll end up to. But still, i'm chasing after you.

I'm standing here, solid as ever. Will not budge, will not give up on u, until you make me move. Please forgive me for all i'm lacking. I might be completely imcomplete, but just give me a few years. I'll claim you. For now, i'm still chasing after you.

Theres nothing else to lose. I just hope you noe, you are so hard to reach. I keep my eyes on you, never letting go. But ppl are pulling me sideways, shoving me with others when all i wanted was you. They think they know whats best for me. But only i can be the judge of it. So what say me? I say im willing to try and take the risk. I rather regret doing it than to regret never knowing how the ending will be just because i didnt give it a try.

I'm really just hanging by a moment. BUt i'm still closer from where i've started. I am still chasing after you.

Once i've set my mind on something. It takes alot to make me change. Same goes here. Gimme 3 years min. I will get u. Pass with the first attempt. This is what i wish for. No matter what others try to say, bout how i dont quite fit the mold, i will prove them wrong. Why ever give someone whos trying her best a hard time? Is it ever appropriate to break a young soul spirit just so u get the benefit?

I'm beginning to fear human. I fear their ruthlessness. I fear how superficial they can be. I fear how i could not differentiate when they r kind, cruel or cruel to be kind. I fear how unreal some might be. I fear how some could try and manipulate ur mind telling u stuff to make u doubt urself. I fear for them.

A simple quest to work towards what u wish for. How could it get so tangled and complicated?

And i feel so sorry that i feel sorry for myself. sorry because i did not haven enough faith to belive in myself. Sorry because i fell for it. I got affected by it. Sorry because i felt sorry for myself one moment when i should have been happy and feel blessed instead.

Opportunity like this dont happen very often. Once let go, there might never be a second try.

Just so i know, i am stil chasing after it. I havent let go.

Tonite, i dont want the world to see me, because i dont think that they'll understand. When everything is made to be broken, i just want you to know who i am. I cant stop the tears that aint falling. But please see the fire burning in me and the moment of truth that shines tru my eyes.

woke up this morning and found myself emo.

2007-12-02T10:41:00.000+08:00

im thinking that once i get back to sg long.. time will pass by so fast, that b4 i cud even say cheese, BAM! its 19th. the last day of exam = last day of uni life. ever.

i noe ive been bloggin alot about how its last n etc.. but i just cant get it off my mind..

its beginning to hit me that everything i hold to heart so dearly, i will have to let go.

starting work so early so solely my decision and im beginning to question myself, might it be too early?

i will only have about 2 weeks shy for holidays. minus the days taken to pack n move out of my condo..

i dare not think more.

im just a lil sad. thats all.. its really coming to an end.

blog designer wannabe. take 2.

2007-11-30T21:55:00.000+08:00

u noe wut? i'm wondering where this sudden blog-ga-frenzy came from.

3 postings in a day? update of layouts each time? man.. shud i start to worry? its.. so .. so unlike me. But anyways, i happen to lurve my blog's new hairdo (yep, thats wut i call it).

Pon and Zi, they r so cuteee i could almost eat them! (haha, just kidding.. relax.. pon and zi's hardcore fans..) For those who dun reli know who they are.. Pon and Zi are these two little very cute emo creatures. one is blue the other is yellow. i got one of them featured in my blog.. the one with the *smootch smootch* I cant differentiate which is pon and which is zi so.. lets just call mine ponzi. ^^ Cute arent they. I f u tell me u cud resist them.. u r so not my friend. (haha kidding.. kiddign.) But like them will you. seriously.

oKLA.. i think i shall not make any changes to my blog for the time being.. cuz i realize that all of a sudden i keep changing n changing them,. if i could, which i knew i would, i might even change it every hour or so! >.<>for the moment. But.. a fren of mine mentioned its too white... hmm.. shall i....? haha just kidding!

Erm.. if u've bear with me and read till this stage. ok ok! fine! i admit!I'm bored tonight. or should i say i was bored the whole day~ *blush* *blush*

Enuf of crapping d. Off i go... whispers to herself--->time to change friendster layout.... hehe..

... grrr..

2007-11-30T16:52:00.000+08:00

omg omg! i just realized that all my pics gone d!!!!

blog designer wannabe.

2007-11-30T15:49:00.000+08:00

i'm back! i noe wut i say my bout last blog postings and all.. but hey.. i'm back at pj.. so its not reli counted.

so.. back to the reason of this posting.. wey wey people.. noticed anything different? ... or u dont notice anything different? okies.. okies.. i give in. i bee-yoo-ti-fied my blogggg~ like it?

i heart it so! i totally luv those cute little polar bears.. so white.. so huggable.. n i love this new set of smilies i got. suddenly feel so pro.. i learn it all by myself kay.. so totally lurve how my blog looks now.. wut do u think?

what got me into changing the appearance of my blog was that i find it rather dull .. after facing it for so long.. and i came across some articles that said that smilies r supposed to make the blog readers smile wen they read ur blog. like they get to noe how u feel.. so guys, feeling happier already?

anyway, i'm back to pj for the weekend.. but will come back to sg long on sunday. study weeks are usually spent in sg long as.. theres just too much distraction i.e the tv astro is like practically calling my name. i swear its truee~ plus, i wanna spend more time there.. bau bau sikit the sg long smell.. eat more of the food.. walk more tru de sands.. u noe wut i mean.

my exam schedule is on 12, 14 and 19. so .. i guess i should start preparing now. i intend to remain in first class, and i really hope i will. *toes and fingers crossed* so i guess i'll start preparing my schedule.. i wanna mk it flat this time around.

my interview wit BDO turn out fine the other day. tq to those who wished me luck. i guess it really works! =) if everything goes well, i will start work on the 2nd of January. i noe.. abit like very de early.. but its ok. the early bird catches de biggie worm (hopefully).. but actually i just wanted to start early cuz i noe i need to work very very hard. ppl put in 100% i will nd to give 201% just to be the same or better than them! so... cheers to the marketing gal venturing into the accounting world! (yes.. i noe.. its not exactly my field, so sue me )

i also want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has helped me and encouraged me all the while especially SW for driving me to all my interviews and waited long hours for me. u saw me tru thick and thin.. all my muka gelabah and nervous all u see ady.

And also to Ah Joo, tq very very much for everything u have done. ur reli very very--->

Dats all for now.. am sleepy. will continue later.. if i got anything interesting to post about. for now.. enjoy my blog's new look k? *bangga nyer*

MUAKS!

emo nyer.......

2007-11-29T22:16:00.000+08:00

sitting in front of my pc.. at one of the many usual nights i have in my cozy flora green condo.
*sigh* now how many more of these nights will i still have to enjoy? tomoro is the last day of uni life. not exactly last as we stil hv our study weeks n exams.. but wut i mean is that i will no longer attend tutorials and classes and lectures etc.. it didnt occur to me that everything is reli coming to an end up till toay when i suddenly realize my friends' msn nics.. most of those who is like me , graduatin soon.. spoke of how much they will miss it and the last of everything and all. not to mention friends who sms me asking how i feel now that it is the last week. haiz* thanks guys for bringing out the emo-side of me. I tot i was ok, but i guess am not.

It just occur to me that i will no longer nd to drag myself to lectures or tutorials. no more assignments. no more being so care free that wenever we feel like goin out or to the movies v can do so. more of formal wears and lesser casual clothes. more responsibilities and lesser i-do-wut-i want-when- i-want-to. i cant like hey,dont feel like goin class today.. so dun go lor.. working just aint gonna accomodate that. n i guess no mroe living under the safe and warm umbrella of protection from the family.. and out to the "wilderness". dun feel quite ready to face all that and i guess many in the same position as i feel the same. so i guess the feeling is mutual.

I'm really goin to miss this place alot. I can imagine me coming back here every once in a while.. jus to breathe the air. When i left KTAR 2 years back.. i did the same. I go back whwenver possible.. drive tru the usual place i used to go, walk along the streets my friends and i used to walk, go back to the same stall we so often hang around.. but it didnt feel the same. Maybe cuz i knew that i dun belong there anymore. So, the first few months i went back more often, and as time goes by, the visits become fewer.. and fewer. But whenever i go back to Setapak, a certain feeling of familiarness and fondness still embrace me. and whenever i see those KTAR students .. i feel like one of them. So i guess.. when i leave UTAR, i will feel the same too. haiz* Am not ready to go~`

Everythins about to change. Haiz. I will miss all the great people. All my hangout buddies. wACKY Classmates. SRC. Everything. Some might go back to hometown. So, how am i gonna c u guys anymore?? *sobs* So i hope more will find work in KL la okie.. Dun go too far~ ^^
All the memories, all the friendships, ... i duwan to let go. T.T

hAIZ.. writ till here.. i suddenly dun feel like writing anymore. Words just aint enuf to fully xpress how i feel deep inside. But never forget that i do care.

Hugs. This might be one of the last blog posting i do in Sg Long Flora Green Condo Block C 12 Floor.

i feel like crying. damn. i'm weak.

the end of a beginning of and end.

2007-11-28T09:57:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since i last wrote anything. Dun get me wrong.. i have yet to given up on my blog. Just that many things are running tru my mind.. i tried to plan, an d whenever i thought i got it all figured out... new things emerged and the plan goes haywire yet again. and again.

Week 7 of the last semester. The last of the very last. I still remember the first time i reach here. Din like it. BUt now, after 2 years. I heart it so. Learn so many new things, gain so much experience, things that i might not have gotten had i choose the other path and met so many great ppl. Some of whom hv already become like peanut butter and jelly in my life. I dun want my uni life to end, but end is inevitable. So cheers for a new beginning? maybe. talking bout new beginning.....

i'm talking a bold step out of my normal path. thankyou to those who ask me to step back to my original path, u guys make me realize that i reli want this path cuz im strong enuff to not being influenced by the words said. and thank you to those who have encouraged me. Thank you for believing in me. it reli fuel me up. the fire is burningg~~ as u can see.. ^^ thank you to those who hv helped me and guide me and shared alot of ur opinions and thoughts, i reli appreciate it. no matter i get it or not, u can expect a meal from me. =)

so off i go to get ready b4 3pm. the time has come. the long wait of 6 days since i last received the call. shud i say some magic words to further incrase my chances?? err.. how bout mani mani hom??? not quite right.. em... aza aza fighting! uish.. thats korean. i guess a simply do my very best will do.

Its not easy to taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line. As such, a door is open for me, I go in and i'm faced with hundreds of closed doors. BUt whenever the world says "Give Up" I could almost hear Hope saying " Try it one more time".

By me, for me.

2007-09-16T21:27:00.000+08:00

in the mirror i see,
reflection of a girl or a lady?,
working her ways through the rough and unforgiving sea,
stumbling once, falling twice but never giving up, you see,
its never easy, and easy it never will,
but underneath that fragile heart, its a will as strong as steel.

Just one of my amateur attempt at writing a poem. To the friend who wrote a poem about me for me in less than 5 minutes, i'm inspired by you. The lovely poem you showed me, the one you wrote but never had the chance to give it to the one that matters, was the sweetest poem i have ever read. both of the poems written by you was filled with originality that is so you. =) keep it up!

Happy 50th Merdeka Day!!!!!

2007-08-31T21:26:00.000+08:00

Putrajaya sky was beautiful in all its glory last night during Merdeka Day. As the clock strucks 12, amazing displays of fireworks left us all in awe. But as we, like the majority of the crowd was admiring the fireworks, one man, who came with his wife, mother and his army of kids stood out from the rest of us. He shouted Merdeka! while proudly lifting the Malaysian flag that he brought along. He kept shouting but i guessed he got a little frustrated as no one in the crowd followed him. then, what he said next somehow made me felt ashame of myself. He said and i translated " Today is our independence day, dont tell me u guys watch the fireworks till you fail to remember this?" He said this in an almost jokingly way (probably to avoid getting beat up later..) but who could blame him? There were no countdowns whatsoever as everyone was busy anticipating the fireworks instead of counting down to Merdeka, there were no proud cries of Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! and i think, there were no moments of reflecting how fortunate we are today. it made me think that if Malaysia is a human being, he/she would have been upset as her/his birthday was forgotten.

i'm not saying that only by shoutin Merdeka! or waving the flag on Merdeka alone means we love our country and all, but what that man said, somehow hit me right on the spot! i felt embarrass deep down inside because deny it i may, but i and i think most of the people watching fireworks that night, might have forgotten or prolly gotten our priorities all wrong. What the heck, its our 50th Independece Day and i'm watching a firework display by not even our Malaysian team,but Team Japan (which by the way is really good. i think they will even win) i might have felt better if i spent the night, with a couple of friends in a mamak waiting for countdown and....10..9..8...3..2..1.. MERDEKA!!!!!!! u noe. give a moment of reflection but then again.. would i? ( erm.. the fireworks was really really awesome..) omg.. am i contradicting myself? but then again, as i'm writing this thing... i somehow realize that no matter how we celebrated Merdeka, regardless of countdowns or none, as long as we give a moment to ourselves and wish our country Happy 50th Merdeka, Malaysia in our hearts.. i , in all ways, feels that it is more than enough.

As i'm busily terrorizing my key board typing this, i suddenly remember this article i read about one author commenting on how much have our country have truly changed since half a decade of our independence day. He was commenting on how much we are still lacking and if we could really be proud and still celebrate our Independence day despite our shortcomings? i for one have no hard feelings whatsoever as i feel that everyone has the freedom of speech, that is just his point of view and its good to question, and not just blindly comply. but, allow me to give my 2 cents worth, i believe that in all our shortcomings, things that we have yet to achieve and things that we are still weak at,By all means, right, left, front and back, we deserve this 50th Merdeka! Malaysia deserved to be celebrated. WE deserved to feel proud of our country, our homeland. Without the past, there will be no future. So screw those who feels that being Malaysian is not enough and that their homeland is always not good enough. i am a true believer of constructive comments and the continuous passion for improvements but not destructive and negative inflicted comments said to make us feel any lesser about what we are and where we come from.

The same goes to those who feels that our uni is not good enough or are ashamed of admiting or telling others where we come from. I simply could not comprehend why some would spend the time to post stuff online such as their dissatisfaction over the Corporate MOnday thingy. frankly speaking, i am not all that excited about it as well cuz it gets abit inconvenient wearing high heels, climbing up the stairs up till 5th floor and tryin to look all professional and nice at the same time. not to mention the frustration of not knowing what to wear or simply wearing the same formal every monday as our formal collections are still very limited. but in light of all this, i wonder, if its not bad and knowing the fact we could not change it, why not? is it worth it spreading negative comments about this? i have my own share of monday blues, not wanting to go uni cuz have to wear formal... but ... yet again... let us look at it as a practice of getting some use to wearing formal for our working lives. :) and btw.. by gradually increasing our formals now, it'll save us the heartache of having to forkout a huge amount of money later when we work... =P After all .. its just 1 day, and like what they say ''What dont kill us, only make us stronger".
(the writer is trying to convince, brainwash, psycho herself into accepting it too... ^^)

i in my own world and mind have no idea what went into me tonight. forgive me for my boldness(if any) and if i had directly or indirectly offend anyone (if any).. cuz.. its just my 2 cents worth. you can take it, or leave, which ever way suits..;)

1 and a half hour more till OUr Merdeka Day is over. BUt then again.,.. like what they say for Valentines, Mothers Day and Fathers Day and etc... dont just express your love that day only. that goes to today as well....

Happy 50th Merdeka Malaysia! A Proud Malaysian at heart. Always will be.

Proud to be a Utarian. This is where i obtained my tertiary education, met great ppl (u noe who u r) have tons of unforgettable memories and my last stop in my academic journey. (not planning on MBA btw...)

With this, Cheers~ Never be afraid of who you are and where you come from. :)

mr .sun taking a break..

2007-08-15T11:22:00.001+08:00

its 11.25 now.. class at 12.
but the sky is getting darker by the minute here in sg.long..
the winds are like howling (no joke).. the clouds as daRK as charcoal & heavy as godzilla.. (okok abit exxagerating).. but the thing is..under these circumstances.. should i attend my class?
hmm.. altho my uni is just acrosss my condo... but.. raining wo...cold blowing wind.. not to mention there are a few coconut trees .. wut happens if suddenly the wind blow too hard and 1 co-co-nut drop n hit my head!!?? aih.. find excuses u may, but u stil have to go cuz ur classmates' notes are with u! doink! =.=""

dragging her feet away...

omg! sorry amigo~~

2007-08-14T15:31:00.000+08:00

just got back from class.. n in a mist of chatting wit a fren in msn..
this fren, LD.. always say i go back pj nvr call ... sigh.. sobz* but forget d.. who come back from pj all the way, wake up early morning go teman dia see shrek?? dia lupa....
another fren S pulak thinks that im running away (like a refugee) & nvr see them ever again.. =.=" .. but the truth is.. fault lies on me too la.. sigh.. wut to do.. this blur gal have to study ma... n wut to do.. live so far away from u all... sobs** miss all u guys from my secondary school.. too many memories, too many good days , n some bad days.. but.. those were my golden days.. ^^ i promise x3 to meet u guys more often k? lunch on me.. maggi goreng tak mau maggi!! =P
despite LD being abit ungrateful.. but okla.. forgive u.. cuz u reminded me about Kit Soon a.k.a Kitty coming back to Malaysia d!! tqtq..

it happens that a close friend of mine just got back from UK.. and mean old me forgot about it!! Kitty told me about it last month i guess.. im so sorry.. in a midst of eveyrthing.. i totally forgotten about it! but.. kita suda lama kawan... im sure Kitty wont mind... hor?
so.. just in case u happen to read this.. my thousand apologies. *sowee*
will make it up to u wen i get back.

minta maaf banyak banyak... dun le angry me .. hehe... i don mean to not call.. im just a little late =)))))

Ps: another close friend of mine is coming back from Taiwan on Sept 1!! for those kind souls.. do remind me if i forget... (paiseh..)

Ps2: Read an article from frester.. dunnoe believable or not. but i tend to believe it.. it seems that on 27 August 2007, at approximatley 12.30am.. we can see 2 full moons in our sky!! it is said that Planet Mars will be within 34.65M miles from Earth!! so.. dun miss it as nobody alive today will ever be able to witness this in future as the next time this phenomenon will happen again is in yr 2287!! hmm.. i plan to watch it d.. so u guys.. if u do rmb about it.. drop me an sms or smtg... so we can watch it together gether.. (n in case i forget of cuz... hehe)

Ps3: watching another tvb series called Heart of Greed.. so far so gud.. about bao yu & some family conflicts wan.. heheh will update u guys about it.. ^^ n still waiting for the release of prison break n heroes of cuz... muakakaka....

Ps4: muakaka.. did anyone watched SummerLive Concert last Sat? isit me or is JJ looking better (+ more cute) & the F.I.R gal getting prettier? They both looked great that nite! at least for me.. they do =)

Ps5: As for AstroTalentQuest, im glad Xiao Yan got the third place n the audience choice award. A deserving wion for her. Congrats* . As for the champion.. i'd still prefer the 2nd place guy as compared to zAC. But they were both good! i dun normally fancy S.H.E that much.. but that nite.. when they sang.. dunno y suddenly i feel like hey, these gals are gooood! espcially Ella!

hmm.. the writer seem to be heading towards JJ,Ella & F.I.R.... not her usual cup of tea.. but.. changes are good (so they say)..

ok, signing off for now.. u guys have a great day!! *muackies*

wan wut.. no wut..(translate to cantonese)

2007-08-13T22:47:00.000+08:00

dinner at sky tonite...
order claypot yee mee.. dun hv..
order fish fillet rice.. oso dun hv...
end up wit pan mee.. tomoro pasar malam.. will oso eat pan mee.. sooner or later.. bcome pan mee!!! @@
reminds me of 1 time in mamak..
lychee ais.. tada...
sprite.. tada....
teh ais.. tada...
tosai? pun tada...
apa ada??? =.="

quite happy today.. cuz moi's blog just 1 day old.. but a few ppl d read it.. =)
tq for de welcome wishes! fu-yohh.. am a blogger now.. sounds cool.. (-.-)""

My First Post

2007-08-13T12:15:00.000+08:00

Bonjour! (Hello in French)
this is my 2nd attempt at bela-ing a blog. my first blog had a short-but-well-lived life.. ^^
this time around, i reli reli hope to maintain it! okla.. will put it in my 2008 resolution liao.
well.. i woke up this morning at 9 plus ( woke up early despite knowing am skipping lecture at 10) went on9 n wala~ saw ah joo's blog... n it suddenly strucked me that i feel like having 1 too! *hehe* so.. credits to ah joo for inspiring me unknowingly..
for days n weeks n yrs to come.. i'll (hopefuly) keep this blog as alive & updated as possible!
Y3 s2 is RELI taking a toll at my health condition. been down for a week. but am gud now. life was hectic for the past few weeks(mid terms, presentations, assi n all..).. but its beginning to slow down now.
my thesis presentation is on AUG 18!! (gosh*) wish me luck! after this.. can finally phew*.. n take some deserving break time. hehe.. in case ur curious bout wut i did during my 1 week K.O time.. these are the breakdown of my "activities"..

-went bac to pj on Fri.. k.o till u gimme "bao yu" also will taste like tissue to me.. c doc.. got myself a lovely injection as a souvenir.

-sleep, rest, astro ( watched practically every programme till astro ria oso i tak lepaskannya..)

- went to sjmc cuz my condition got worse.. waited for hrs.. n see this Dr.C (not gonna name him here, after kena sue n u hv to visit me in jail) turned out.. dat we saw the wrong doc.. n this Dr.C referred me to another doc. he din do anything.. the whole process took just a miserable 3 minute n guess wut??!!! he got the cheek to charge us RM147!! thats money gone down the drain for ntg.. it made me think that are doctors nowdays reli into saving lives or are they simply into making cold heartless cash? taking advantage of sick ppl who r not in their means to defend themselves. if he had say sorry, this is not my area but ill refer u to another doc more specialize in this (n charge me a little) i would say he's an honest and good doctor! but RM 147? .. u be my judge..

- went to clinic for the 3rd time.. =.=" y is this happening.. only got better after my fourth visit n another souvenir injection. had high fever for days, throat infection, couple of other infections, was suspected for dengue, went in n out of clinics, ran blood test etc.. all in all.. its been a rough week. am glad to still be here.

-finally replied sms-es.. tq all for sms-ing me... sorry for replying late.. but I'M OK NOWWW~~~~~~~~ wheee..... damn happy! it reli felt good to be healthy. muacks! hugs! tq for all ur sms-es, hugs, get well wishes, jokes to make me happy, tq to my group for backing me up for presentations that i hv missed, & HUGGSSSS u guys sms-es did make me feel better!

- recovering.. mum bought this korean series "Lovers in Prague". i spend my remainding days watching it n watching it non-stop. so ... mum & daughter end up glue-stick to the korean movie. bro wanna watch other programme? CANNOT! haha... btw.. this show is superbly damn nice.. its gonna be aired soon on AEC every Mon-Fri at 9pm i tink.. hehe (promo a bit ma)
i rate this series 9/10!!!! loved it! finished the whole series in just 3 days!! hehe.. so.. dun miss it!

- havent been on9 for sometime.. for those who reliazed my dissappearance (hehe).. now u know wut happened... =)

dats about all i did.. not much.. but.. okla hor... ^^.. am back in sg long now.. life resume back to normal. =)

its nearly 1pm now.. have TB tutorial at 2pm.. will go this time (hehe)...

au revoir n dun miss me too much ya~ haha...

ps: the writer apologize for any grammar error n the inconsistent mixture of spanish n french expressions.. the writer felt that it looked sophisticated (hehe*) .

ps1: the writer tried uploading more pics but kanasai! all pics din turned out the way its supposed to. either streched too big or too small.. =.=" . the writer will seeks more professional bloggers pertaining this matter.

ps2: the writer dunnoe why.. but seem to find it hard to stop typing n end the post short n sweet.. the writer was eek...! wei! hey!! ( carried away from the computer.....)