You know that sometimes, You just dont know.

Many things is goin through my mind, and I just cant wait to let it all out. But.. where so i start? Life has been a big gobbly blob of messy fun , and yet I'm living it just fine. How did i cope or how did i survive is a different question all together. Did I have fun? Yes. Do I have any regrets? Yes, some. Will I do it differently? Well, maybe. But did I live the moment? I guess I did. Ppl, great ppl even, makes some mistakes here and there- eventually, at some point of their lives, so i guess i'm no different. I guess its not the issue of did we or did we not make a mistake, nor is it the extend of our mistakes and all the collateral damages involved as a result, but i guess, in my most humble opinion, is if we realise and learn from the mistakes we've made, vowing that never, in our best effort, to repeat it again.




Life as a management associate is drawing to an end, closer as we speak. 31 July 2009. I anticipate your arrival as much as I wish you would not come so soon. Dear MAPs, if any of you ever happen to read this, I will miss you.

One year together I do believe has brought us closer. Regardless of how different an individual each and every one of us are, we manage to work it out and leverage on each other's strength and weaknesses - that we appreciate us for who we are and not who we are not, and in despite of these differences, we are a great team. And as 1 August comes, and we will all depart to our own respective postings, I wish you well. I am anticipating that we may not get to spend as much time as we used to, we will be occupied and busy trying to adjust to ur new roles and teams, we might not end up in the same dept, but let us not grow apart. Let us keep the good memories of meeting each other for the first time on 5th August 2008 fresh in mind, the many presentations we've gone through together, the Bangi Canteen food that well.. needs alot of improvement.., the many lunches we've ate , our Gopeng trip, Mr Tang's Law training and his jokes, takin our group pic with our MAP Tshirt, our farewell at Chillis, L.O.V.E course and those tennis balls, the grooming class we had, the many self motivation classes HR had arranged for us, CMC presentations, group projects ( altho we may not see eye to eye always, but its for the good of getting the project done) and countless of good , bad, ugly and sweet memories in our hearts. I know all of us will do well in future, some even better than the rest. Before the MAP 2008 program comes to an end, I want to thank you , for being not only good colleagues, but thank you for being a good friend. And I hope we all get our desired posting. I need to stop now before i cry. * damn! I'm weak*





I dont think I have been a good daughter . I should start spending more time at home.

Nor do I think I have been a good friend. But I try to do everything within my means.





I dont think Im saving enough.





I think I need to stop browsing AirAsia's website so often. The temptation of going somewhere far with just a click away is seriously hard to resist.





I need to lose weight. More sit ups. Sigh- I dont think this, i will manage. =(





And YOU. You drive me crazy. Your inconsistency and unpredictableness and your irregularity confuses me. I know I ve said i like surprises, but not too much. Playing the guessing game is well out of my league. I fear when I feel happy , even by feeling the smallest jolt of happiness in my vein would get me thinking, whats wrong? What is goin to happen next? I think I have serious complication disorder. Sometimes I feel like I dont have the means to rise above and change. I know if i continue to keep my distance, and not fully plunging into it, like ppl should, then I am just waiting and keep on waiting for the world to change. huh? Gibberish. ok, next.





I was having seafood at Kampung Melayu Subang tonight . As I was eating, a family came by and sat on this table directly opposite of me. The Mum, Dad, Sister and a younger sister who happens to be a special child. As I was eating, I glance occasionally (I know its not polite to stare) . But I just cant help it. My heart went out to them. The Dad was constantly peeling the crab's shell, and takin the meat out and put in on her plate. She can eat on her own and was okay using chopsticks, so its a good thing. The dad then peeled the prawn's shell. Then he took the vege and noodles for her. It just hit me at that point, for fortunate I am. Some people come into this world, being a special child. And they had absolutely no control over it. Its not their choice. But they had to come into this world , at such a young age, with such burden. And yet, most of them strive and lead life the best they can. So for this, I salute their courage and I admire their persistence. Tonight itself, I went to the nearest supermarket, got some necessities and donate them to this Disabled Home for Childrens near Taman Megah. Its a corner lot house, some of you might know. The moment the children said thank you, I felt somewhat relieved. I felt good that I helped someone today. Its not the amount we've donated, but its the thought that counts. In fact, I should say thank you back to them, because they make things even clearer for me. Putting my thoughts into perspectives. By pulling myself out and look at the situation properly , I really shouldnt worry or get myself work out on small matters. I should persevere and try to live my life the best I can. Regardless of what other people think, I should live the way I feel is the best for me, and just say what I need to say. For you guys, if your interested in making donations, I do suggest you make it in kinds, such as rice, milo, cereals, cooking oil, biscuits, and etc.. Do our part, the best within our means.





It doesnt matter if you think I am emo. I am.


I am easily hurt, but i bounce back twice faster. I am normally harmless unless provoke. So if you think you can take advantage of my "assumed emotional vulnerability", I suggest you think twice.





Even as your eyes are closing, your hands are shaking, or if you feel your faith is broken, but as long as you do it with your heart wide open, and keep going on , that my friend, is a true survivor.