I used to believe that if I am perfectly happy and when things are going well with my life, i must have overlook something. But now i realized that it is not something that is impossible and that i too, deserve to have it.
When i was a very young person, i used to dream of fairy tale endings, perfect weddings with churches, beautiful white gowns & bull dogs in tuxedos, used to believe that everyone is a good person with good intentions, that love should be unconditional and you must put yourself out there. But then, the world i though i knew did not turn out exactly how i imagined it to be.. and then i stopped dreaming. But now, my long held thought and decision seemed to be challenged day by day and i am beginning to allow myself to dream a little bit more each time.
I sometimes lay awake at night and wonder how ironic life is. How we are always looking for something out there which we conveniently thinks must be better than whatever is within our reach now. And then we make ourselves travel and circle one big round to seek for it only to find that the best of things were all along just right next to us.
August 2008 had been the most difficult time in my life. Although it took me quite a while to gather all my courage, i am finally someone i can be proud of in February 2010. I can finally let go of all the emotional baggage and start life, the right way. Have not looked back ever since.
I feel that i am not where i am supposed to be now. I can take in more. I do however still believe that this will change as it is just a matter of time and opportunity. I however will stick by my belief that i will only succeed by having my conscience clear, no matter how tempting things can be at times to just take the easy way out.
I acknowledge that i am not always an easy person to be with and i can be difficult at times. It must have been difficult for you.
I believe that one could not go wrong if their actions/ thinkings are always based on good intentions. And this belief, has never changed.
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