3/12/07

i'm working towards you. Closer from where i've started. Chasing after you. I'm letting go all i have ever hold on to. Chasing after you. I'm running towards you, but i'm not quite sure where to go or where i'll end up to. But still, i'm chasing after you.

I'm standing here, solid as ever. Will not budge, will not give up on u, until you make me move. Please forgive me for all i'm lacking. I might be completely imcomplete, but just give me a few years. I'll claim you. For now, i'm still chasing after you.

Theres nothing else to lose. I just hope you noe, you are so hard to reach. I keep my eyes on you, never letting go. But ppl are pulling me sideways, shoving me with others when all i wanted was you. They think they know whats best for me. But only i can be the judge of it. So what say me? I say im willing to try and take the risk. I rather regret doing it than to regret never knowing how the ending will be just because i didnt give it a try.

I'm really just hanging by a moment. BUt i'm still closer from where i've started. I am still chasing after you.

Once i've set my mind on something. It takes alot to make me change. Same goes here. Gimme 3 years min. I will get u. Pass with the first attempt. This is what i wish for. No matter what others try to say, bout how i dont quite fit the mold, i will prove them wrong. Why ever give someone whos trying her best a hard time? Is it ever appropriate to break a young soul spirit just so u get the benefit?

I'm beginning to fear human. I fear their ruthlessness. I fear how superficial they can be. I fear how i could not differentiate when they r kind, cruel or cruel to be kind. I fear how unreal some might be. I fear how some could try and manipulate ur mind telling u stuff to make u doubt urself. I fear for them.

A simple quest to work towards what u wish for. How could it get so tangled and complicated?

And i feel so sorry that i feel sorry for myself. sorry because i did not haven enough faith to belive in myself. Sorry because i fell for it. I got affected by it. Sorry because i felt sorry for myself one moment when i should have been happy and feel blessed instead.

Opportunity like this dont happen very often. Once let go, there might never be a second try.

Just so i know, i am stil chasing after it. I havent let go.

Tonite, i dont want the world to see me, because i dont think that they'll understand. When everything is made to be broken, i just want you to know who i am. I cant stop the tears that aint falling. But please see the fire burning in me and the moment of truth that shines tru my eyes.